


Memory Data Corrupted

by littlemissstark315



Series: We’re not friends; we’re family [20]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Car Accidents, Head trauma, Hospitals, M/M, Memory Loss, its not depressing, just bittersweet, tucker falling in love with wash all over again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-09-30 13:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissstark315/pseuds/littlemissstark315
Summary: It was a normal day, until it wasn’t. Now Wash is left with no memory of who Tucker is or who his kid are thanks to a car accident. Can Tucker help him regain his lost memories or will they be starting over?





	1. Chapter 1

  
Tucker slammed his hand down on his alarm clock. He grumbled, wanting to hide in the blankets but his early bird of a husband wasn’t having any of it. “Tucker get up, I’ll get the kids ready this time while you make some coffee?” Tucker yawned as he sat up with a grumble. “Yeah, Yeah. Whatever.” Wash just smiled, already nearly fully dressed as he walked out their bedroom door.

Tucker got up, starting to dress in his work clothing, walking out the door with the tie loose around his neck. He was too tired to attempt to tie it.

He started the coffee maker as he heard Hailey grumbling, Wash struggling to get her shirt on her. “Hailey I swear if you don’t behave-“ Tucker yawned again, watching Makenzie walk in, looking tired but not grouchy like Tucker and Hailey.

Wash stood, finally accomplished his task as he looked at Tucker, huffing. “Have you ever tied your own tie?” He walked over, gently pushing him to face him as he started tying his tie. Tucker just shrugged. “Once in high school for prom.” “Didn’t anyone ever teach you?” “You.” Wash gave him a look. “And I see you’re using the information amazingly.” Tucker just grinned, kissing him.

Wash kissed back before pushing away. “Let’s just get breakfast going. Any more hiccups and we’ll be running late.”

The kids were dropped off at school and Wash and Tucker made it to work with one minute to spare.

Grif grinned at them from his desk. “Wow, one minute early. Isn’t that late for you Wash?” Wash sighed as he sat down at his desk. “The kids didn’t want to cooperate.” He said as he gave Tucker a look. Tucker gave him a look back as he sat across from him, knowing that Wash called him a child.

The work day went as normal until Wash got a case, Carolina going with him. A domestic. Tucker always worried when he went out. “Be safe babe, ok?” Wash smiled as he kissed him goodbye. “Always. Love you.” “Love you too.” Carolina sighed. “Com’on lovebirds, we have a case.” Washs smiled a goodbye as he walked out, gun and badge on his hip as he followed Carolina.

Tucker ended up going to his own crime scene, a murder. He went to with Simmons. Simmons questioned the wife who was in tears while Tucker gathered evidence. He sighed, trying not to let the situation bring him down.

According to the wife the husband tried to kill her and she acted in self-defense and so far the story lined up with evidence.

On their way back to the station Locus called him. Tucker picked up. “Yo.” “Tucker you need to get to the hospital.” Tucker frowned. “What’s going on?” “Wash and Carolina have been in an accident and…just get there.” He swallowed, a cold bolt of fear going down his spine. “We’ll be there.”

He hung up, feeling numb. Simmons noticed it right away, frowning. “What’s going on?” “We need to get to the hospital. Wash and Carolina were in a car accident.” “Oh my god! Are they alright?”

Tucker shook his head, eyes watering from worry. “I don’t fucking know, just drive.”

Simmons was silent the whole way to the hospital. Once parked Tucker got out and slammed the door shut as he jogged inside. Simmons followed, hoping against hoping that Wash and Carolina were alright.

Tucker went to the front desk of the ER. “I’m here to see Wash.” the head nurse just looked at him. “You’ll have to be more specific dear.” Tucker took a breath, trying to calm himself but he could feel his hands shaking. “His name is David Tucker, he’s a detective, might have gotten into a car accident. I’m his husband.”

The nurse nodded as she typed it it. “He’s still in surgery, it might be a while as he just arrived twenty minutes ago. I will put you as a priority to talk to when he’s out. For now do you have any family of his you’d like to call?”

Tucker shook his head. “No. Thank you.” Tucker went and sat down, head in his hands. Simmons was next to him. “Any news?” “He’s in surgery. Only arrived twenty minutes ago. It might be a while before we hear anything. Why don’t you work the case? No reason you should wait around.”

Simmons softly glared at him. “Tucker, he’s my friend too. And I’m not about to leave you alone when you’re emotionally compromised.” Tucker didn’t admit how nice it felt to hear that. “Thanks”.

It was four hours before they got any update, and during those four hours Tucker called Grif, seeing if he and Simmons can pick up Makenzie and Hailey after school. Simmons already agreed to it but he wanted to ask Grif too.

He was half asleep when a familiar high pitch voice woke him up. “Tucker! I thought I’d see you here!” He jumped, seeing Dr. Grey. He gave her a look, he thought she stayed with the military. He stood. “Hey, What are you doing here?”

“Working on your husband silly. He went through quite the doozy. They called me since I’ve had the most experience with his medical conditions and psychology along with being one of the best Neurosurgeons around.” Tucker was scared to ask. “Is he ok? Can I see him?”

She made a face and Tucker wasn’t sure how to make heads or tails of it. “He’s not awake yet from surgery and won’t be for a few more hours but Tucker, he was barely alive when the ambulance brought him here. Along with two broken ribs, a broken arm and leg and contusions for days, he also had a lot of head trauma. As of right now I can’t say how it will effect him when he wakes up. He could have personality changes, he could not remember anyone, head trauma is a wild card. We had to drill a hole in his skull because his brain was swelling.”

Tucker felt his eyes water, wiping them away. “Shit. Can I at least sit with him? How’s Carolina?” “Carolina was the one driving so she’s fairing much better than her passenger but still in bad shape. Think you’ll be able to keep her from doing anything for a few months?” “Probably not, knowing Carolina.” “Her wrists and forearms are broken from the airbag going off along with a few broken bones in her back but thankfully no spinal cord injuries. She had some head trauma as well but not as severe as Wash so she may have a very bad concussion but should overall be oky doki! Here, let me take you to Wash.”

Tucker turned to Simmons. “Would you be able to bring the girls here?” Simmons nodded. “Yeah, that’s no problem. It’s almost that time now, me and Grif will go get them.” Ticket gave a weak smile. “Thanks.”

Tucker followed Dr. Grey to the ICU that was three floors up and finally to his room. She had her hand on the door knob. “I have to warn you, he has quite the number of wires on him.” Tucker sighed. “I’ve seen him enough in the hospital to know.” She just gave a nod and gently opened the door.

Tucker hated this. Why was it that Wash was always the one in these situations? Always the one to come so close to death only to manage to get out of its grasp?

Wash in a hospital bed was an Unfortunately familiar sight. He had wires and machines hooked up to him but thankfully no ventilator, at least his lungs are fine.

He sat down at the closest chair and held Washs hand gently, kissing it. “Wake up soon babe, I’ll be here.” 


	2. Chapter 2

  
Tucker could only stare at his husband in worry. Why was it always him that got into this kind of trouble? Why was it Wash to be the first one in a bad situation?

If he was shot he could argue it was his husbands selfless nature, running toward gunfire to help anyone he can. But a car wreck? It has so many gray areas on who to blame he decides to stop thinking about it.

His phone dinged. He jumped, having been lost in his own thoughts. He checked his phone, seeing it was Simmons telling him he and Grif were here along with the girls and Locus who followed.

Tucker kissed Washs limp hand. “I’ll be back, promise.” He felt a bubble of disappointment he didn’t know he was holding, seeing wash unresponsive to him. He left the room to the waiting room where Makenzie ran to him, tears in her blue eyes. “Is daddy gonna be ok?” Hailey looked just as terrified, hugging his leg.

He felt overwhelmed but took a shaking breath as he kneeled down. He wanted to lie, say everything was going to be fine but he knew Wash would lecture him for days if he did that. “I don’t know. The doctors have done their best on him. They had the best doctor, ever, of all time, working on him but he was hurt really bad.”

Hailey sniffled. “So daddy might die? Like Goldie?” She said, referring to the fish Tucker had brought home for her one day. The memory of it made his heart hurt; Wash was furious with him for bringing a new pet home but they couldn’t fight against two girls who loved that silly little fish that died within two weeks of having it.

Tucker swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah. Maybe.” Makenzie sobbed, rubbing her eyes. Tucker held her close, rubbing her back.

Even Grif was emotional, trying to hide it, wiping his eyes with shaking hands. Simmons arm around him.

Once Tucker and his daughter came out of their embrace, Locus walked over. “I am so sorry for this incident. I promise, we will find who did this.” Tucker shook his head. “It’s just a car wreck. They happen all the time.”

“Not this one. Wash and Carolina both had body cams on along with the hood cam and going by what evidence we have of this domestic, it was likely the man had accomplices. This may have been done intentionally.”

Tucker looked away, he felt nauseous from the thoughts and feeling storming through him. Makenzie spoke, holding her fathers arm. “So someone did this to daddy and Aunt Lina on purpose?” Locus nodded. “Yes. Very likely and I promise, we will find them.”

Tucker sighed, wanting to curse and scream. He stayed quiet. Simmons spoke. “When do you think he’ll wake up?” Tucker shrugged. “I don’t know. For now why don’t you take the kids and Freckles to your place. I’ll text you when he wakes up.”

Makenzie frowned. “But I want to stay here.” Tucker sighed. “Makenzie, I know but a hospital is boring and depressing and is not a place for you two. Go with your uncles, I promise to call when daddy wakes up.” She frowned, wiping her eyes. “Ok.” She hugged him before going with her uncles.

Hailey looked between Simmons and Tucker. Tucker kneeled down to her, hugging her. “Go with them, I’m gonna watch over daddy, ok?” She sniffled. “Ok.” He kissed her head and gently ushered her over to them.

He watched as the group left and went to find Carolinas room. She wasn’t in the ICU (which was probably good) and she was half awake, Dr. Grey talking to her as she checked her vitals. “Oh gosh that’s awful.” Grey said to whatever Carolina was saying.

Carolina saw Tucker, she was still woozy from medication from surgery. “Tucker…Tucker hi.” Tucker walked over. “Hey.” He looked at Grey. “How is she doing?”

The doctor stood. “Better now that she’s awake. She’s obviously still a bit high from surgery but that should pass within a few hours.” “When do you think Wash will wake up?”

Grey frowned. “Oh I don’t know sweetie. With his head trauma it could be a few days or turn into a coma.” Tucker felt himself stop breathing. “A coma?”

Grey nodded. “It’s not a rare occurrence for someone severely injured to fall into a coma. Often times it’s temporary, it’s way of the body trying to heal itself.” Tucker stayed quiet. Grey frowned. “Why don’t you stay with him. I’ll bring you a cot and some food.” Tucker nodded. “Just about to do that. Thanks.”

Tucker walked back to Washs room, thoughts filling his head. Of his husbands patrol car in a fiery heap. Of someone T-boning the car. Wash possibly stuck in the car terrified, he and Carolina unable to call for help.

He stopped walking, his breathing too fast, hands shaking as he grabbed the wall for support, tears falling down his face.

How is he supposed to take care of their daughters if Wash is in a coma? Or dies? A whimper escaped him as he sat on the floor, against the wall as he ran his hands through his dreads.

He tried to remember everything Wash taught him to calm down anxiety, trying to breath steady. “Oh god…please be ok. Just..god let him be ok.”

“Tucker?” He heard Greys voice from down the hall. He looked, seeing her rush over, kneeling to him. “Hey! Hey, are you ok?” Tucker gasped. “I’m fucking not ok! Wash may die or never wake up and I don’t know what to do if that happens. What do I tell the girls? How do I take care of both of them?”

Grey frowned as she sat in front of him. “I can’t answer those for you and I can’t predict if he’ll be ok. You just have to have faith that he’ll be alright. He’s been through a lot, survived a lot most others would die from. I’m sure a car wreck will be the least of things he’s survived.” Tucker had to agree, remembering when he was kidnapped.

Grey helped him up, handing him a bottle of water from the goodie bag she brought with her for him along with the fold-away cot. “Here. Drink this.” Tucker didn’t argue and took the bottle of water. Once it was empty Grey opened the door to Wash still asleep, the heart monitor a steady beep as they walked in.

She set it up as he sat down. She handed him a granola bar. “Here. Just because Wash can’t force you to eat right now doesn’t mean I won’t take over that job.” Tucker took it with a weak smile. Dr. Grey has helped them more times than he cares to count. “Thanks.”

She smiled sadly. “Make sure to eat and get rest too. Wash wouldn’t want you to worry yourself sick. Call me if anything happens, Alright?” Tucker nodded And she walked out, leaving him alone to wonder how long it will be until he wake up. 


	3. Chapter 3

  
It was nearly two days before Wash showed signs of waking up. Tucker was sitting by the window, (grateful Dr. Grey gave him a private room) when he heard rustling of sheets and a confused groan.

He looked, seeing Wash blinking and looking confused and in pain. Tucker rushed over. “Hey baby, it’s ok, you’re ok.” Wash looked scared. “What’s happening? Where am I?” Tucker pressed the call nurse button. “In the hospital, do you remember why?” Wash shook his head but winced. “Everything hurts.” Tucker held his hand and kissed his head. “I know it does, we’re gonna get you better.”

Wash looked confused at Tucker as Dr. Grey walked inside. “Wash! You’re awake! That’s great! How are feeling?” Wash swallowed. “Everything hurts and I don’t know why I’m here. And I’m sorry-“ He said, looking at Tucker. “I..I don’t know who you are.” Dr. Greys normally chipper mood dampend as she felt the swift change in mood. She had a feeling this would be the case.

Tucker swallowed, tears filling his eyes. “You serious?” Wash looked away, he felt like a shirt person for not remembering. “I’m sorry. I don’t. I just know I’m in the hospital, injured and that something happened but I don’t know what. I don’t know anything.” Dr. Grey went to Tucker who looked like he was about to have a panic attack. “Tucker, a minute of your time.” She said before gently ushering him out of the room.

Tucker he started pacing, voice thick and shaking. “Fuck…fuck now the fuck am I supposed to explain this? How do I tell the kids daddy doesn’t know them?” Dr. Grey frowned. “This is going to be very hard Tucker but depending on the level of brain damage his memories can come back as the brain heals. I’m going to talk to him, call in a specialist in memory loss and come up with plans on how to tackle this, ok?”

Tucker wipes his eyes. “What do I do during all this?” She sighed. “Go see your kids, explain what’s going on because right now may not be the best time for both of you to get to know each other again. I’ll call you when I feel the time is good.”

Suddenly Washs voice came from behind the hospital room door, muffled. “Doctor?” She excused herself into the room.

Tucker stayed outside as he paced. After a few minutes of quiet taking grey came back out with a sad smile. “He wants to talk to you. Think you’re up for that?” Tucker nodded, willing himself to keep it together.

He walked inside, grey leaving him alone. Tucker just felt awkward, waving to him. “Hey.” Wash gave a weak smile. “Hey. I…I’m sorry. The doctor told me you’re my husband.” Tucker gave a sad smile. “Yeah. Over ten years we’ve been married, known each other longer.”

Wash looked away. “I’m sorry, I feel like I’ve taken that all away from you. I don’t remember you, at all.” Tucker walked closer. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for that, Alright? You can’t help how your brain handles getting damaged. Plus on the bright side there’s a chance the memories can come back.”

Wash sighed. “Still. I felt so bad when I saw your face when I said I didn’t remember you and I’m sorry. I promise, I’m going to do what I can to get them back.” Tucker smiled weakly. “I know you will. I’m gonna go see the kids-“ he cursed himself. It was habit to talk about them with Wash but now he feels he may be overwhelming Wash with information.

Washs eyes got big. “Wait? We have kids?” Tucker nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Two girls.” He got his phone out, getting a picture of Makenzie and Hailey.

Wash took it gently with his good hand. Tucker pointed the girls out. “The older, blonde one is Makenzie. She’s so much like you it drives me crazy. She just turned twelve. And Hailey is the youngest, she’s going into first grade.” Wash smiled. “They’re beautiful. And they’re mine? Ours?”

Tucker smiled softly, taking his phone. “Yes. Ours. Right now they’re worried sick about you and the good doctor is going to talk to you and run some tests. So I’m gonna go home for a bit while they help you.”

Wash nodded. “Any idea how long I’ll be here?” Tucker shrugged. “Not sure.” “If I’m here a long time, could you print out that picture for me? I’d like a picture of them here, maybe it will help regain my memory.” Tucker smiled sadly, nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.” He sighed. “Well I’ll be back when Dr. Grey calls me, get better soon, ok?” Wash gave a nod and Tucker left.

He went outside the hospital and I to the parking lot to his patrol car. Once in the silence of the car, ghosts of memories came at him. How many times had he talked Wash into fooling around in the car? In this very seat? How many times had they been on a case together and talked about everything while waiting for a perp?

Tucker gripped the steering wheel, a sob escaping him. Now with no one around to see him, he let go. Crying it out and hoping he can talk to his daughters about this without crying.

He went to the precinct first, to drop off the car but it also gave him an idea. Remembering their Captain said Wash and Carolinas car accident may have been intentional.

He walked inside, a few night staff starting to come in, seeing the captain was starting to get ready to go. He walked in the door. “I want to see the videos.”

Sam looked over. “Excuse me?” Tucker walked closer. “I want to see the body cam footage and the hood cam form the patrol car.” “Tucker, I can’t just hand the videos over to you. You’re not assigned to the case.” “Then assign me because I want to find the fuckers the did this.” “Is everything alright? How’s wash?”

Tucker looked away. “He woke up. Doesn’t remember anything. Doesn’t remember me or the girls.” Sam gave a nod, understanding why he so suddenly wanted to see the videos. “I will see about assigning you tomorrow but for now, go home and be with your daughters. They need you.”

Tucker sighed, feeling a little better knowing he can help put the people behind bars for this. “Yeah. I’ll make sure to update you.”

He parked outside his house, scared to go inside, luckily he’d have to go to Simmons and Grifs house so he can avoid it a little longer.

He got out, walking across the street and opening the door. “Hey.” He gasped as Freckles tackled him, licking his face and wagging his tail. Tucker couldn’t help but smile as he kneeled down to pet the dog. “Hey buddy.”

Makenzie and Hailey ran over soon after, Gavin close behind them along with Simmons and Grif, Simmons holding baby Noah who was nearly two years old.

Grif spoke first, still clearly worried. “How’s he doing?” Tucker let out a breath, standing, holding his girls close. “You all might want to sit down.”

Makenzie whimpered. “Oh god, is daddy dead?” Tucker shook his head, holding her close and kissing her blonde curls. “No. Not at all but there’s a lot of changes. I need you to sit down with them, ok?”

She sniffled, following and sitting on the couch. Makenzie hugged Grif, wanting to hide in his side. He held her close. Tucker sat opposite of them on the recliner. “You know how in cartoons a character might get hit on the head and not remember things? Act weird?” The kids nodded.

Tucker sighed. “Well..daddy doesn’t remember us. He has severe memory loss from the car accident, his brain got shook up too much, got hurt and when your brain gets hurt or does a lot of funky things like this.” Hailey looked confused. “So daddy forgot us?” “Yes but he didn’t want to. His brain is hurt.”

Hailey looked thoughtful. “Can we make his brain better? My teacher says puzzles are really good for the brain.” Ticker smiled sadly. “We can try.”

Makenzie wiped her eyes. “At least he’s alive. And he might get his memories back so there is hope, right?” Grif smiled at her. “Definitely kiddo.”

Hailey smiled. “When can we see daddy? Can we make him a get well card?” Tucker smiled as he came over, hugging her. “Soon as the doctor says and yes, you can make him as many cards as you want.”

When they got home it was time for bed and thankfully the girls behaved, Tucker don’t have the emotional strength to fight with them.

But he almost wished they did put up a fight because now his house was surround by ghosts.

Ghosts of memories. He and Wash having a morning coffee, a night time tea after the blonde had a nightmare, a movie night with the girls.

He let out a shaking breath as Freckles came over with a soft, concerned whine, nudging Tucker’s hand to pet him.

Tucker pet him and kneeled down. “How you doing without him?” Freckles just snuggled closer to him, sensing his anxiety. Tucker hugged the dog close. “I miss him too boy. Com’on, lets go to bed.”

Tucker got ready for bed but felt like the routine was missing something. Namely a blonde talking his ear off about what to expect from the next day.

It wasn’t any better when he got in bed. He was a cuddler and he and Wash always cuddled as they slept.   
Now the bed felt too spacious and vast without the other. Freckles forced himself under Tucker’s arm and resting his head on Tucker’s chest.

Tucker smiled sadly, holding the dog close. “Good boy Freckles.”

He didn’t sleep much that night.


	4. Chapter 4

  
The next day Grey let Tucker know that Wash was ready to be released from the hospital and that the memory loss specialist would like to talk to the whole family, so everyone is informed.

Hailey was smiling from the back seat of the car, excited to see her daddy, not quite grasping the situation. Makenzie on the other hand was sullen, arms crossed and looking worried. Tucker gave her a smile. “Kenzie, this is a good thing, daddy is coming home.”

She frowned. “And he doesn’t remember us. It’s not gonna be the same.” Tucker pulled into the hospital, sighing. “I know but he’s alive and his memory has a good chance of coming back fully, it just has to take some time.” “Is that what you’re gonna tell yourself when your anniversary comes round and he still doesn’t remember you?” Tucker gave her a soft glare, turning in the drivers seat. “Hey, Stop. He may not remember us but he’s still your father and he needs help and time to heal.”

She looked away, mumbling. “Sorry.” He got out, helping Hailey out, holding her hand as Makenzie got out, arms still crossed as they all walked in.

Dr. Grey met them with a smile. “I have good news. Wash remembered the accident, at least some of it.” Tucker was confused. “This is..good?” “Very good. It means his recent memories are returning which leads to even better chances he’ll remember us again.”

Tucker smiled at Makenzie. “See? Just have some faith, ok?” Makenzie stayed quiet. She didn’t like hospitals. Dr. Grey smiled. “Alright well wash is waiting in my office with the doctor, I’ll lead you there and you all can have a nice chat.”

She lead them to her office and gently knocked before entering. “Hello Dr. Phelps, I’ve brought the family.” Dr. Phelps was a somewhat older man, mid 50s with peppering hair. “Bring them in.”

Tucker walked inside, keeping a tighter hold on Hailey, knowing she’ll want to run right to him. But could tell that’s would be a bad idea, not just because of the memory loss but because of the cast on his arm and leg and various bruising.

Hailey still smiled over, waving. “Daddy! You’re ok!” Wash smiled politely but felt horrible he didn’t remember her but felt an achingly familiar feeling at seeing the two kids. “Hi…uhh, I..I’m sorry, I forgot your name. I know it was told to me but I forgot.”

Hailey frowned, looking at Tucker. “Did daddy really forget about us?” Tucker sighed as he held her close. “It’s complicated Hailey, but this nice doctor here is gonna tell you everything that’s going on with daddy.” Makenzie followed them, arms still crossed as they all sat down.

Tucker sat down next to wash on the couch, Hailey next to him and Makenzie sitting furtherest away, staying quiet. Dr. Phelps smiled. “Well I’m Dr. Phelps, I’m the memory loss and neurological damage specialist. And good news, David-“ wash spoke up suddenly. “Please don’t call me that.” He said, feeling anxiety hearing his first name but not knowing why.

The doctor nodded. “What would you like to be called?” “Wash is fine, it’s what I go by.” “Alright then, Wash doesn’t have total amnesia and he is remembering certain things like how the injuries occurred but memory is a messy uphill battle. He may remember in clear detail everything he had for dinner a week ago but forget the names of those closest to him and even history with them, which is what’s going on right now.”

Wash frowned. “Is there any way I can regain my memories?” The doctor sighed. “There is But you have to give yourself time and forgive yourself when you get frustrated. You’re memory is damaged but thankfully not damaged enough that it may be permanent. You may have permanent issues down the line from such a concussion but they may be small things like forgetting important dates or failing vision.”

Tucker spoke next. “Is here any medication that can help?” The doctor shrugged. “Sadly no. I can only give advice and instructions on how to better his memory and possibly regain memories back. I have paper work for you to go through at home, it’s just advice and whatnot on how to handle memory loss.”

Wash frowned. “What can I be doing to help me remember?” “Well first thing first is to go home. Become reacquainted with your home and familiar objects. Talk with your family, all of those things have a chance of bringing memories back. It may be gradual, like everyday you feel you remember it but can’t just get it and each day that feeling may become stronger and stronger until the memories come back. And I highly recommend starting to use a daily planner or notebook.” Tucker gave him a look. “But he has one in his phone.”

The doctor nodded. “True but the act of writing things you want to remember helps lock that memory in place and can strengthen the memory.”

Tucker nodded. “Is it safe to take him home?” Dr. Phelps smiled. “Of course! I have all the information you’ll need on his condition and I’d like to see him every two weeks to check how his brain is healing.” Tucker nodded. “Alright.” Tucker saw the cast and thick boot on Washs leg. “Is it safe for him to walk?”

“Yes. The break in his leg was very clean and they used medical glue for it but we stress no running or stressful movements. Slow and steady.” Tucker nodded. Wash sighed, feeling out of place in all this, like a piece of furniture. Tucker tried to cheer him up as he stood. “Alright, Com’on, I’ll help you walk out the door.”

Wash gave a nod, standing slowly and holding Tucker’s outstretched arm. They walked slowly out the door, the girls following.

Once in the hall Hailey was full of questions. “You really forget me?” Wash smiled sadly at her, she was precious and felt horrible he couldn’t remember his own daughter. “I’m sorry, I do.” “Does that mean you forgot your birthday too?” Washs smiled more genuinely but Tucker sighed as her. “Hailey, you can ask him-“ “no, it’s alright.” Wash said with a smile. “She’s just curious and wants to know what’s going on.” Tucker shrugged. “Alright.”

Tucker looked at Makenzie who was still quiet, looking even more depressed as Hailey asked question after question.

Once outside Tucker stopped them. “Makenzie, come here.” Makenzie looked confused, walking over to her father. “Yeah dad?” “You have been entirely too quiet. I want you to introduce yourself to your father.” She frowned, feeling scared. She felt like Wash was a total stranger now.

She turned to him, feeling awkward. “I’m Makenzie.” Wash gave her a smile. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m really sorry I forgot you, I promise I’m going to try to get all my memories back.” She just gave a nod and walked ahead of everyone else to the car.

Wash frowned. “Is she ok? Did I do something wrong?” Tucker sighed. “You’re fine, she’s just not handling this very well. Don’t worry, she’ll come around.” Wash just nodded and let Tucker help him to the car.

It was a somewhat quiet ride home, Tucker decided to tell him about some of their more notable memories. “Ring any bells?” Wash gave a weak smile. “Sorry. No bells ringing.” “Ah, well find one.”

Tucker pulled into their driveway and sighed. “Well..this is home.” Wash just stared at it, feeling the memory of it trying to push its way to into the forefront of his mind but wasn’t quite enough. “Yeah. It is. It’s weird. I remember it but I don’t.” “You’re probably gong to feel like that for a while. Let’s get you inside. I can make your favorite tea.”

Makenzie suddenly got out of the car, quickly telling Tucker “I’m going to uncle Griffs house!” Tucker huffed but let her go. She needed this. “Alright!”

Wash frowned, feeling like a burden. He hoped his memories came back soon.


	5. Chapter 5

  
Grif was making a fruit smoothie when the door burst open, Makenzie throwing herself on his couch with a huff.

He was thankful it didn’t wake Noah and that Gavin was in school. He already knew what this was about. He walked into the living room. “Everything ok Kenzie?”

Makenzie huffed as she sat up, tears in her eyes. “No, everything is not alright. Daddy doesn’t remember us.” Grif sat next to her. “That’s not his fault, he can’t help what happened, brain damage is…weird.” “I know and I hate I feel so mad.” Her voice wobbled as she wiped tears away. She continued. “I don’t want to be mad, I shouldn’t be but he’s not daddy. He’s a new person that looks like him and I don’t know what to say to him or what to do. He feels like a stranger.”

Grif wrapped his arm around her, bringing her into his side. “It’s ok to be frustrated. You’re human, it’s natural to get frustrated when things don’t go the way you want them too. And I am always here if you need to talk but why don’t you try to act normal toward him.”

Makenzie sniffled. “Why? It’s not going to do anything.” Grif shrugged. “you don’t know that. What if one hug brings his memory of you back? What if him helping you with homework helps him?” Makenzie nodded “I guess you have a point. Can I stay here a bit longer, I’m not ready to go back home yet.” “Long as you need.”

Tucker sighed as they walked in, holding Hailey close as he opened the door, damn kid could wander away within a second; a natural adventurer.

He got the door open. “Here we go. We’re home.” But it didn’t feel like it. Tucker got Hailey inside who went to the couch in the living room as Wash walked in carefully with the boot on his leg, looking around.

Wash smiled. “It’s so cozy.” He said. The kitchen and living room were conjoined, an open space suitable for children.

Suddenly Freckles rushed over, borfing happily as he nearly tackled Wash if Tucker hadn’t stopped him.

Wash gasped but smiled. “Oh my god, he’s so precious.” Wash pet the dog with his good hand. Tucker smiled sadly, remembering how mad wash was when he brought Freckles home. “His name is freckels. He’s your service dog.”   
“Is he good at his job?” “Yeah. He even helps me out sometimes if my own anxiety is too much. He’s woken you up from so many nightmares and protected you from your abusive father.”

Wash frowned, feeling anxiety at the mention of his father, although the memories are muffled and blurry, he can just barely remember. “I think I can remember him. I don’t know if that’s something I want to remember.” Ticker smiled sadly. “In this case any memory is a good one. You up for a tour? It’s a one level house so no stairs.”

Wash nodded. “I think I can manage. Will the older girl be ok? She ran off.” Tucker nodded. “Yeah. She’s just not handling this very well. It’s a big change, for everyone. Right now she’s over her uncles house. She’ll be back.” Wash just nodded. Tucker smiled. “Alright, lets start the tour.”

Tucker made sure to go slow as they walked further into the living room. “Obviously, living room. Where we do all our living and relaxing. And other things, bow chicka bow wow.” He said with a smirk before he realized Wash doesn’t remember that but Wash looked thoughtful a him as he said that. “Do…do you say that often?” “What often?” “That bow chicka part?”

Tucker smiled. Maybe there really is hope. “Yeah, it’s like a thing I do.” Wash gave a nod, trying to remember it more. “I remember you saying that other times, but it’s so fuzzy.” He said, feeling frustrated. Tucker smiled softly. “You’ll get there, don’t rush yourself.”

He walked over to the TV mantel, picking up one of the many picture frames, this one of He and Wash on their wedding day, at the reception, smiling brightly before the drinking fiasco started. “This was our wedding day.” He said as he handed it over.

Wash took it gently, careful with his broken arm. This memory was fuzzy too but made him feel melancholy. They looked so happy in the picture and now without his memory it’s gone. His stupid brain damage is going to tear his family apart and he hates himself for it.

He gently handed it back, lying to Tucker, feeling himself get more frustrated with himself. “Sorry, it hasn’t brought anything up.” Tucker smiled but Wash could tell it was forced as he put it back, getting one of when Makenzie was just a baby, leaving to walk, Tucker holding her little hands as she used him for leverage, smiling at the camera. “Makenzie was little over a year old in this.”

Wash smiled as this too was handed to him. He smiled. “She’s adorable. Those curls take over her head.” Tucker looked hopeful at him. Wash gave a sad smile. “I’m sorry. Nothing.” Tucker gave a shrug as he put the picture frame back. “Had to try. Let’s see the rest of the house.”

He showed him the girls rooms and their bathroom and the bedroom. He opened the door and Wash felt memories he can’t remember bombarded him. Each one fizzier than the last, making his head hurt that he can’t remember them fully.

Wash winced, his good hand coming to his head. Tucker worried. “You Alright?” Wash nodded. “Yeah. My head is just killing me.” “Probably will for a while. Why don’t you lay down and I can bring you some pain killers?” Wash nodded, letting Tucker help him into bed, being careful of his broken ribs before leaving the room.

Wash sighed as he felt like he heard voices around him, echoing, like white noise. These memories were trying so hard to get to the surface, if only he could actually remember them.

Suddenly freckles trotted in, jumping on the bed carefully and laying next to wash, placing his head on his shoulder.

Wash smiled at him. “Hey…” he sighed, hating he already forgot the dogs name. “Sorry, I forgot your name and only learned it fifteen minutes ago.” Freckles didn’t seem to care a He kicked Washs face gently. Wash smiled softly. “Glad you’re ok with that.”

Wash had fallen asleep and Tucker spent time helping Hailey with her homework when Makenzie walked in. Tucker went to her, softly glaring. “You’ve been gone for five hours.” Makenzie glared at the floor. “Sorry, I had to get away.” “You could have warned me before you ran away. You didn’t even ask permission.”

Makenzie glared at her dad. “Well I didn’t want to scare daddy if I burst into tears in front of him. It’s not like he can help!” Tucker glared softly, he knew where she was coming from but didn’t like she ran off without asking. “Kenzie, it’s ok to be scared and frustrated, we all are, daddy included.” “But what am I supposed to do now? I can’t act like I normally would around him, he won’t understand it. Won’t know me.”

Tucker continued to argue with her, not knowing Wash was awake on the bedroom and listening to every word, feeling every point she made like a knife in his heart.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. He wanted to remember, his brain wanted to remember. But he just couldn’t. And it was only day one of being “home.”

He hopes it gets better.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Carolina hates this. Her wrists and forearms were useless and her back wasn’t any better. She wanted get to, move back to work but her injuries made that impossible.

Dr. Grey was a constant around her, fearing she might try to move without help. While Dr. Grey was combing her red hair, she spoke up. “How’s the other guy?” She remembered the crash but had trouble remembering names.

Dr. Grey smiled. “You mean Wash?” “Yeah. Wash. Fuck, how can I forget his name? He’s like a brother to me.” “You have your own head trauma yourself.”

Carolina frowned. “Is he ok?” She asked, terrified of the answer. Grey sighed. “He’s alive and well. His memory isn’t so well. He’s forgotten almost everything. He doesn’t know who Tucker and the girls are, doesn’t know me, barely remembers the crash.” “But he’s alive?” “Yes. Only has a few broken bones.”

“Would I be able to see him? I need an excuse to get out of this hospital bed.” Grey frowned. “With your back injury I advise against but I’m sure with supervision and a wheelchair you’d be just fine.”

Carolina groaned. “A wheelchair? I can walk. Why do I need a wheelchair?” “Need I remind you that you have several vertebrae fractures? Walking on your own is a no-go. If one of them breaks any more, they could accidentally hit your spinal cord which could paralyze you or kill you.”

Carolina frowned. “Fine. Wheelchair it is. I just want to see…” she looked thoughtful before getting frustrated. “Fuck. What’s his name again?” “Wash. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Memory problems like you and him are very common in a car accident, What with you being tumbled all around a metal cage.”

Tucker, for Washs comfort and not wanting to pressure him when he doesn’t remember their relationship, got the extra cot that Wash always kept in case if some emergency guest.

Tucker woke to the sound of Wash crying out, which wasn’t uncommon, it’s normal to Tucker, so waking to it wasn’t startling.

He turned the light on, seeing Wash nearly hyperventilating in his sleep, his body rocking back and fourth in an effort to sooth.

Tucker got down to his level, shaking him awake. “Wash, hey, it’s alright. Just a nightmare.” Tucker felt his heart break when wash spoke, voice quiet and thick. “Please, Stop. No more.” Tucker knew he was either dreaming of his father or Felix; both equally awful.

He shook him a little more, but should have known it would have no affect. It never did when he knew him. The best tactic is to hold him close.

He got into the small cot, getting behind Wash and wrapping him up close, petting his hair, gently shushing him. “Shh it’s alright. You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Within two minutes Wash was quiet and asleep again. Tucker let out a breath and questioned moving. If he moved his nightmares could come back and fuck if he misses holding Wash.

He decided to stay, holding onto Wash just a little longer, knowing it will go away in the morning.

Wash blinked awake, feeling tired, remembering vaguely the nightmare he had but it was slipping from his mind like sand through fingers.

He remembers pain and a black and orange armor. Everything else was a haze. He felt a weight on him, comfortable and safe. He turned his head, seeing Tucker asleep, holding him close.

Wash closed his eyes. A few more minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt. And being held made him feel safe. But Tucker woke, yawning. Wash gave a weak smile, even if Tucker couldn’t see it. “Morning.” Tucker frowned. “Sorry I kinda crawled into your bed. You were having a nightmare.” “It’s ok. This is nice. You make me feel safe. Guess we should get up now.”

Tucker nodded, gently dislodging himself from Wash, standing up. “Yeah. The girls are probably up already.”

Wash just nodded, attempting to sit up with his injuries, Tucker helping, but winced, feeling a sharp headache. Tucker frowned. “You ok?” “Yeah. Just a bad headache. Guess I’ll have them for a while.”

Suddenly Tucker’s cell started ringing from the dresser. He picked up, seeing it was Carolina. “Hey.” “Hey, is…” he heard Carolinas voice go muffled as she spoke to Dr. Grey. “What’s his name again?” “It’s wash.”

She was speaking to Tucker again. “Wash. Is wash up for visitors? I don’t want to overwhelm him.” “Let me ask.” He lowered the phone as wash was getting dressed in regular clothing. “Hey, up for some visitors?” Wash just looked at him. “Sure, I guess.”

Tucker brought the phone back up. “Yeah. He’s fine. How you doing?” “Other than some broken bones and being unable to remember my best friends name? Fine. I’m just glad he’s ok. Me and Dr. Grey will be there soon.” “Alright. I’ll have a pot of coffee waiting.” He hung up.

Wash looked at him. “Who’s visiting?” “Carolina. You and her go way back, practically siblings.” Wash gave a nod. “Her name, it sounds so familiar but I can’t think of what she looks like.” Ticker smiled weakly. “It’s alright. You’ve only been out of the hospital a day. Those memories won’t come back in one day.”

Tucker was about to leave when Wash spoke up. “You said I had a nightmare?” Tucker frowned. “Yeah. You get them pretty often. I do too. It’s pretty normal. Do you remember anything from it?” “Not much. I just remember pain. Lots of pain. And armor that was orange and black.”

Felix, Tucker’s mind supplied. Tucker nodded. “Yeah. I know that. Want to talk more about it?” Wash shrugged. “I don’t know. Did the guy do something to me?” “A lot of things. His name is Felix.”

Wash swallowed, feeling anxiety prickle all over, making him restless, suddenly remembering him. “Felix? Is he here?” He asked, sounding panicked. Tucker went to him, frowning. “Hey, it’s alright. He’s not here, he’s never going to hurt you again. He’s dead.” Wash swallowed, holding Tucker’s hands. “Right. He’s dead. I remember. And I remember him. He kidnapped me, pumped me full of drugs and raped me.” Ticker let out a breath, of everything he wanted Wash to remember it wasn’t that. “Yeah.”

Wash almost smiled, weak. “I remember it. Tucker, I remember that.” “Wait, you’re happy you remember that?” He asked, confused. That is not something he wishes Wash to have relive or remember.

But wash smiled. “Yes! That means I’m getting some of my memory back. I’m happy with any memory I get, bad or happy.” Tucker smiled. “I guess. Let’s go get some breakfast going before Makenzie burns half the kitchen like last time.”

Wash smiled. “Yeah. I know.” He blinked. “How I do remember her trying and failing to make breakfast but I don’t remember her? As a person?” Tucker has his hand on the door handle. “What do you mean?”

“I mean half the memories I’m getting is like watching a movie. I’ve seen them happen, I know they happened but I don’t remember the connection and relationships of the people in them.” Ticker frowned. “Something to ask Dr. Grey when she gets here.”

They got into the kitchen, hearing Hailey and Makenzie laughing at cartoons. Makenzie stopped laughing when she saw her dads. Tucker starting to get things ready while Wash looks a little lost.

Hailey smiled, starting to jog over to give wash a hug. “Daddy!” Tucker stopped her. “Gently hug him. He’s hurt.” Hailey nodded, coming to wash and wrapping her arms gently around his waist. Wash looked a little lost, looking between Tucker and his daughter. Tucker chuckled weakly. “Go ahead and hug her back, she won’t bite.”

Hailey smiled up at him, her corse, curly hair a messy Afro on her head. Seeing her smiling face brought back flashes of memories, brief feelings of familiarity but they were gone as soon as they appeared. He smiled sadly, wishing she could hold onto those memories. “Hey, morning.”

“Do you remember me yet?” “No. Not yet. Almost.” Hailey looked sad but wash smiled as he sat down. “You can help me, why don’t you start by telling me all about you.” Hailey smiled, sitting in the other seat, starting to chatter away.

Makenzie watched as Hailey spoke to wash, wondering how she can be normal around him. Daddy wasn’t the same, he doesn’t know them and she can feel that. It feels like she’s talking to a stranger and she hates it.

Tucker eventually started calling for breakfast, helping Hailey onto her booster. “Makenzie, breakfast.” Makenzie sighed as she got up, turning the TV off and going to the table.

Makenzie looked at her breakfast, a simple breakfast sandwich of a bagel, egg, sausage. Likely store bought ones. Tucker shrugged at her. “Sorry, only breakfast I can make without burning the house down.”

Wash smiled. “That’s alright. Better than nothing right?” Makenzie stayed quiet, picking at it, taking small bites. Wash turned, speaking to her. “You’re very quiet, are you always quiet?” Makenzie stared at her food. “No.” “I’m sorry I still don’t-“ “wash, stop. You have nothing to apologize for.” Tucker said.

Wash gave a nod. Tucker had a point, he can’t help what memories he ended up losing. He can still feel bad about it. “Makenzie, why don’t you tell me about yourself? It could really help me.” Makenzie glared softly at her food. “Did Hailey talking help you?” “Not right now it hasn’t.” Makenzie looked at him. “Then why should I talk? It’s not going to do a damn thing anyway.”

Tucker glared at her. “Makenzie!” Makenzie blushed, knowing she was in trouble. Tucker sighed, standing. “Wash, excuse us.” He gave a pointed look to Makenzie. “Your room. Now.” Makenzie stood with a huff, following.

Once in her room she sat on the bed, arms crossed as Tucker closed the door, glaring at her. “What the hell was that about? What’s with the attitude to your dad?” Makenzie shook her head. “He’s not my dad. Not right now. He feels like a total stranger to me now.”

“That shouldn’t matter, even if this was a stranger were helping, that’s no reason to mouth off like that. You know how he feels when you swear.” Makenzie looked away, mumbling. “Not like he’s here for that.”

Tucker had no idea how to handle this. Makenzie was twelve, not a child but not a teenager. And he’s never been the one to discipline. But now with Washs memories gone, he’s going to have to take up that role. He took in a deep breath. “You’re staying in your room, once I say you can come you’re doing all the chores for that comment.”

Makenzie whined. “Dad! That’s so unfair!” “I don’t care if it’s fair! Life isn’t fair! If it was your father wouldn’t be hurt and forgetting us!”

It was quiet between them. Tucker willing his eyes not to fill up, he hates being the one to be the bad guy. Makenzie looked away, feeling her eyes fill quickly. Tucker took in a breath. “Now stay here and think of how hurtful your comments are. And when you’re out you’re doing all the chores.”

Tucker walked out before Makenzie slammed the door shut. Tucker took in a shaking breath, trying to control his own emotions and anxiety.

“Is everything ok?” Wash said, suddenly near him. Probably took the entire time he and Makenzie were talking to get down the hall from the kitchen with the boot on his leg. Tucker wiped his eyes. “Fine. She’s just…not handling this well.” Wash frowned. He felt immense guilt for his memory loss, even though he knows he shouldn’t. “I see.” Tucker gave a weak smile. “Com’on, we still have breakfast to finish.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting about freckles so if he’s not in a chapter let’s just agree he’s being a good boy somewhere

  
Tucker and Wash came out to the Kitchen where Hailey looked worried. “Is Kenzie in trouble?” Tucker sighed, helping Wash sit down. “Oh yes. A lot of trouble. She has to know saying those things isn’t ok.” “She said a bad word.” “Yes she did.”

Tucker started getting the plates, the ones that were empty. Wash went to try to stand. “I can help.” Tucker gently sat him back down. “No, you shouldn’t even be on your feet, you have a broken leg. Just rest, Alright?” Wash gave a nod.

Suddenly there was a knock on their front door, Freckles started barking from his spot under the oxygen table. Tucker went over. “Must be Dr. Grey.” He went into the living room, opening the front door. He smiled, greeting Dr. Grey and Carolina who was in a wheelchair. “Hey, come on in.”

Dr. Grey smiled, gently pushing Carolina in. “Thank you Tucker.” Grey said. Tucker looked oddly at Carolina. He had never seen her hurt, at least not like this. Carolina glared at him. “Spit it out.” “It’s just I’ve never seen you like this before.” “You mean bound to a wheelchair?” “Yeah. And the neck brace.”

“Well it’s that or I risk paralysis.” “True.” Carolina sighed. “Can I see...” she groaned. “You know who I’m taking about.” Dr. Grey smiled, happy to explain Carolinas one memory issues. “Carolina has her own memory issues, she has trouble recalling names right now. But in time that should be healed easy peasy!”

Carolina looked serious at Tucker. “Please, can I see him?” She said, seeing wash out of the corner of her eye, sitting in the kitchen, looking curious and confused.

Tucker nodded. “Yeah. He’s in the kitchen with Hailey.” Grey and Carolina followed him. Hailey saw Carolina and smiled, running over to her. “Aunt Carolina!” Carolina smiled. “Hey sweetie.” She said. Forgetting her name but finding it easier with the young kids to get away with it, just call them dear or sweetie and they think nothing is wrong.

Wash got up, with leverage from the chair he was on. Carolina saw him. “Hey, do you know who I am?” Wash frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t.” Carolina smiled sadly. “I should have expected that. Do you remember your past? Project Freelancer?”

Wash looked thoughtful. “Yes. Why? I remember York and the twins, I remember Tex and the director. I even remember you but remembering that is like watching a movie.”

Carolina nodded. “I’m having memory problems too. Right now I can’t remember anyone’s names for longer than ten seconds.” Wash looked at Dr. Grey. “Is this normal? To remember memories but not the relationship of the people in them?”

Grey shrugged. “Honestly anything is possible with memory loss. On its best days your memory is notoriously unreliable, and our worst days, you could remember everyone but Tucker or you could forget your childhood. It’s not a clear healing scale like other traumas. But the fact you are remembering is a very good sign. Just give yourself time.”

Carolina looked around. “Where’s the other sister?” Tucker sighed. “She’s kinda grounded right now. She’s not handling his memory loss well.” Wash frowned, guilt eating at his heart. “I’m sorry, I wish I could help her.” Tucker gave a soft glare. “I told you, you have nothing to apologize for. Makenzie knows not to swear like that and not to mouth off like that.”

Carolina gave a nod. “When are you going back to work? Since you’re the only one of us that’s able to go back.” Tucker gave a shrug. “I don’t know, Soon I hope. I just have to make sure he’s alright on his own. Captains gonna put me on your case.” “I want to help.” Carolina said.

Grey frowned. “You’re not in any shape to go to work.” Carolina looked at her. “No but I can do paper work, I can help think of solutions. My body is injured but I can still think.” “You can’t remember names.”

Carolina looked away. “As long as people are willing to work with that disability I’m ready and willing to help. I want to find the fucker that did this to me and him.”

Was glared at her. “How many times have I told you to watch your language around the kids? Hailey is right here.” He pointed to Hailey who was at the kitchen table coloring in a color book.

Everyone stared at him. Tucker looked hopeful. “Wash, did you remember?” Wash swallowed. “I…I don’t know. I…I don’t…” he felt his hands shaking. “Excuse me.” He said before walking down the hall fast as his injuries would allow, to the bedroom, Freckles following.

Carolina frowned, looking worried. “What hell just happened?” Hailey pulled on Tucker’s hand. Tucker turned to her. “Yeah sweetie?” She looked sad. “Is daddy ok?” Tucker sighed. “He’s alright, just an anxiety attack, you remember how we talked about his anxiety? It’s why we have freckles?” She nodded. He smiled softly. “That’s all it is. He’ll be alright. I’ll go check on him, keep Aunt Carolina company.” Hailey nodded as he stood, walking toward the bedroom.

He got in, hearing heavy breathing and pacing. He opened the door, closing the door. “Hey.” He saw freckles first, looking at a loss of what to do. Trying to follow his owner.

  
Wash turned, blue eyes watery, hand running through his blonde hair. “How did I remember that? I don’t know why or how I’m remembering and I still have this fucking headache!” He said a little too fast, voice shaking.

Tucker went to him, holding his arms gently, making him hold still. “Hey, it’s alright. You’re remembering, shouldn’t that be what matters?” Wash nodded, tears falling down his face. He wiped them away shakily. Tucker spoke. “Want to just stay in here? Lay down a bit? Might help your headache.” Wash nodded. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Tucker gave a weak smile. “I’ll get you some Advil.” He walked out the door, gently closing it as he walked to the kitchen where Hailey was talking with Carolina about something, excitedly.

Carolina saw him. “Is he ok?” Tucker nodded, reaching into a high cabinet for the pain killer. “Yeah. He’s remembering but it’s causing some anxiety, which, to be fair, shouldn’t be a surprise. I mean it’s wash. If you looked up Anxiety in the dictionary you’d see him there.”

Grey smiled. “But he is remembering. This is very good. He’ll probably have all his memories back before you know it.” Tucker just nodded to her before walking back down the hall and into the bedroom.

Wash was already laying in bed. Freckles laying next to him, giving him lots of snuggles and love.

Tucker smiled, walking further in. “Here.” Wash took the pills and water bottle that was already on the nightstand, drinking them down. “Thanks. I hope it helps. I’m sorry about my meltdown.” “It’s ok. It’s just a little anxiety. I’ll let you get some rest. Text me if you need anything.” Wash nodded, going back to holding freckles close. 


	8. Chapter 8

“Sure you’ll be ok? You’re gonna be alone for a while. The girls are in school.” Wash gave Tucker a look from his spot on the couch. Tucker had been worrying all night and all morning. “I’ll be fine. It’s a one level house, not a castle. Plus, Dr. Grey gave me a cane to help get around better with my leg.”

Tucker sighed. “Alright.” It suddenly felt awkward for Tucker. He always kissed Wash goodbye when he was going somewhere but now he couldn’t do that. It made his heart ache with what was missing. “I’ll guess I’ll get to work. I’m in your phone, remember what I’m under in your phone?”

“Yes. You’re Tucker in my phone. And in yours in under Babe.” Tucker smiled weakly, over ten years of marriage and he’s never changed Washs name in his phone, never had the heart too. But it made him happy that Wash remembered his name. His short term memory was starting to come back, even small as it is.

“I’ll see you later then. Call or text if you need anything.” Wash nodded with a polite smile. “I will. Be careful out there.” Tucker gave a nod and walked out the door, realizing his tie was still loose around his neck, making him remember that fateful day.

Wash fluttering about the kitchen, getting the girls ready, scolding him playfully for barely knowing how to tie a tie. A depression fell on him, making him breath out shakily, he spoke to himself, knowing he has to stay positive, wash is getting better, slowly but surely. “One day at fucking time.” He said as he got to their SUV and started it.

He walked in, tie tied but barely, messily as he sat down at his desk, Grif looking over at him. Grif hasn’t seen Wash in the weeks that followed after the accident, too scared. Scared of facing him and knowing he won’t remember him. “Hey, so guess he’s alright?” He asked.

Tucker gave a shrug. “Getting better, baby steps. He’s remembering names, some memories are coming back but..” Grif frowned, repeating Tucker. “But??”

“But the disconnection of relationships is still there. He knows Makenzie and Hailey are his daughters but doesn’t feel they are, if that makes sense. Same with me, he knows where married but doesn’t know it.” Tucker said, feeling that ache of depression come back. He let out a breath. “Baby steps Grif. Baby steps.” Grif gave a nod, glad he hasn’t visited but still hates he hasn’t, feels like a coward.

The Captain walked out of his office, going to Tucker, not seeing Simmons. “Tucker, I’dlike to see you and Simmons in my office. It’s about Wash and Carolinas case. Do you know where Simmons is?”

Grif spoke up. “He got moved, cybercrime.” Captain Ortiz nodded. “Right. Give your husband a ring and tell him to come to my office.” Grif smiled, already starting to dial. “Can I make it sound like he’s in trouble?” Ortez rolled his eyes. “As long as he’s down here in a timely manner.”

Tucker followed him into the office, sitting down, waiting for Simmons.

Which wasn’t long, he nearly ran in, looking anxiety ridden in his shirt and tie. “You wanted to see me sir?” The Captain nodded as he sat. “Yes. Sit down.”

Simmons sat and saw Tucker. “Are we both in trouble? You I understand but what did I do?” Tucker almost laughed. “Wait, What?” Simmons sighed, looking at Ortez. “what did I do?”

The Captain just gave him a look, making a mental note to have a talk with Grif. “You’re not in trouble, I need you to assist on a case.” Simmons frowned, pointing out the door. “But Grif said…But..” he groaned. “Oh my god.”

Ortez cleared his throat, turning the laptop around. “Shall we move on? This is the body cam forage. Given the sensitive nature of domestics were required to wear body cams at all times during them. We’ve ID a perp, the boyfriend, names Mason Greene, already has an outstanding record for domestic abuse, drug possession, selling drugs and aggravated assault.”

Tucker glared at the screen, staring at the guy that stood in the homes doorway. “Why is he in public? Shouldn’t he be in jail? For like, ever?”

Ortez nodded. “That would be ideal but this isn’t an ideal world. Any time he’s in jail his bail is paid within 48 hours. But now with sufficient evidence of his intention to kill police officers, he’ll be lucky if he even has bail, let alone know someone rich enough to pay it. Things happen fairly fast to keep a close watch.”

Both Simmons and Tucker nodded as Ortez pressed play.

Ortez wasn’t kidding when he said it happened fast. Soon as Carolina and Wash were inside, the man quickly held his girlfriend hostage, gun to her head as he threatened to shoot her if they came closer.

Wash spoke, always the peacemaker. “Alright. It’s ok, we’ll stay right here. Right Detective Carolina?” “Right.” She said, not sounding pleased.

The man pointed the gun at them, Tucker seeing Washs point of view as the gun was pointed at him. “Weapons put away. Now!” Tucker heard and saw the movement of them holstering their weapons.

Wash spoke again. “We just want to talk. We put our guns away, why don’t you put yours down too? Let’s just talk. You and me.”

The man glared, bringing the gun to his girlfriends head. “No fucking way man! You don’t want to talk. I talk and you put me back in prison. Well not anymore.” He shot his girlfriend in the temple, throwing her at Carolina and Wash before running.

Ortez paused it. Tucker was keeping his breathing under control. This man intended to kill his husband. His family. Ortez saw how upset this video made Tucker. “Tucker, are you alright? Can you continue?”

Tucker nodded. “Yeah. I want to know everything. Play the next video.” Ortez nodded. “The next is the cam from the cruiser. It only shows the front but watch closely and you’ll see why we suspect he had other’s lending a hand.”

Ortez presses play and the cruiser was speeding down the road, weaving in and out of traffic to catch the car Mason was driving, sirens on as Wash called for backup.

Suddenly a car stopped in front of them, forcing them to crash into their trunk, before their own car was hit from the side, making them roll. Making them tumble about inside the car because they forgot to put their seatbelts on in the heat of the chase before the camera went off, glitching from the cars damage.

Simmons spoke first, Tucker was deadly silent, staring at the now blank screen. “I can find their cars using images from the video, license plate numbers, image scanning.” “ bullshit.”

Tucker said, feeling absolutely livid. Simmons looked at him. “What is?” Tucker stood quickly. “Your plan? You just saw what I saw! What kind of fucking images are we going to get that would be any goddamn help?!”

Simmons stood. “Tucker, it doesn’t hurt to at least try. At worst we don’t find anything but at best, this fucker is behind bars, for good. No bail. No probation.”

Ortez looked at Tucker. “I also suggest you calm down. I’m aware he hurt someone dear to you but react too emotionally and I’ll be forced to take you off the case.” Ticker sighed heavily, running his hands through his dreads. “Fine. I’ll will try to remain calm.”

Ortez gave a nod and looked at Simmons. “And you, use whatever images you need to from any of the evidence. I want IDs on these people.” Simmons nodded. “Yes sir.” Ortez looked at both of them. “Tucker, I’ll send you to the house along with Simmons, it’s been looked over but you never know what might have been looked over and to help you to better put that day together from their perspective.” Tucker nodded, sighing, looking at Simmons. “Ready?” Simmons nodded, getting up. “Yes. Just have to talk to my dear husband first.”

Tucker stood, watching amused as Simmons went to Grif, bickering with him as always before Grif pulled him down by his tie for a kiss. Tucker looked away, feeling his own tie, how messily it’s tied, missing being able to kiss Wash whenever. He walked out the door, ready to find who did this.

Back at the house it was quiet with both girls at school and Tucker at work. Wash got around slowly with the help of a cane, hoping to ease his way into the memories he lost like walking walking into a pool.

He looked at several photos. Some of Makenzie when she was young. One of her and Tucker in a kiddie pool in the summer. Another at what Wash assumes is her birthday party, splattered paint all over her grinning face.

Some of Hailey, a toddler, learning to walk, smiling as Wash held her close. And then the ones of he and Tucker’s wedding. It looked like the best time he’s ever had. And still it doesn’t bring any memories. He sighed, placing the pictures back in the box that Tucker had gotten out for him to look at.

He decided to look in the girls room, at the very least he could learn more about them if not gain his memory.

He found Makenzies room first, he assumed so since it had more mature decorations. Nail polish bottles on her dresser, posters of the boy bands she liked and clothing scattered on the floor, the room needing a cleaning.

He walked over to her small desk, a mess of pens, papers, books and a few pictures taped on the wall. He saw the one of her taking a selfie with him, taking it gently off the wall and looking at it, feeling like he can almost remember the moment.

But with an annoyed huff he placed it back down. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilt for his lost memories. It was something he had no control over but he knows his loss of memories is almost worse than if he had died.

He was here but not really. He feels no resentment toward Makenzies cold attitude toward him, he understands. He’s not sure how he would react in her place.

But the tickling of memories is just making his sharp headache worse. Hopefully some more rest will bring them back. Or a nightmare will visit him, forcing some darker memories into the light but right now he won’t complain; a memory is a memory, no matter how bad.


	9. Chapter 9

Tucker sighed as he parked the cruiser in front of the house that Wash and Carolina were at before all hell broke loose. Simmons looked over from the passenger side. “You alright?” Tucker huffed as he got out. “Nope.”

Simmons got out. “If it’s too upsetting you don’t have to do this, I can just go inside.” “And I sit out here like a fucking kid? No thanks. I want to catch this asshole, the more eyes we have the better.”

They walked up to the house, a few officers still there, yellow tape around the doorway. Tucker showed his badge as he walked under the tape, seeing the video he watched.

He saw the blood stain on the carpet from where the perp killed his hostage. Tucker sighed, pushing the images from his head, not wanting to think how close Wash was to certain death.

“Alright, lets look around, see if anyone missed anything.” Simmons nodded. Tucker started going to the upper level, starting to look for any drug stashes that can easily go missed; the perks of growing up in Detroit.

He checked floorboards, knocking on them, knocking on wall trims, anything that can be cut and glued.

He found a closet in one of the rooms, a child’s room he noted, his mind wandering if the child is alright, if they’re in foster care, if they’re even alive. For all he knows this kid could have died form this mans rampage.

Tucker took a deep breath, going to the child’s closet, looking past the clothing, checking any floor trims when the one came off easily. He kneeled down further, getting his gloves on and flashlight, looking inside and finding quite a stash. “Holy shit.” He turned his head. “Hey! I found something up here!”

Simmons came running. “What’s going on?”Tucker handed over the plastic bag to Simmons gloved hands. “This.”

Simmons caught it, looking at it. “Shit, is this crack or meth? I can never tell.” “Probably meth but we can’t be sure. There’s plenty more in there too.” “How come they didn’t find this first go around?” “They also had a dead body to deal with and likely a kid. Look at the room.”

Simmons looked around, frowning. “Hope the kid is alright. Let’s get these bags down to the others.” “You go ahead, I’m gonna keep looking. Guy must have dozens of hiding spaces.” Simmons just nodded, taking the bags and walking out the door.

After the house the drove the same route, slowly, putting that day together in their heads. They got to the intersection, Tucker feeling his hands shake, seeing the dash and body cams clearly in his head.

He cleared his throat, pushing the thoughts way. “Any leads from the video?” “Yes but we can’t find him. We have his license plate number but we don’t have a lead on the second car but finding this amount of drugs definitely points toward having other people involved. Right now we’re asking anywhere that checks in cars to look out for that license plate and sent a APB out for him.” Tucker nodded. It wasn’t perfect but it was something. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. I can’t look at this intersection.”

Back at home Wash was cleaning, just something to keep his hands busy. Tucker would be at work later than usual trying to find this guy that caused all this which left him with the girls alone.

It made him nervous, hence the cleaning. Hailey still is handling it the best, sometimes she forgets that wash doesn’t remember her but she just smiled and says “oh yeah” like it was the simplest thing.

Makenzie has barely talked to him or came out of her room. While wash was wiping the counter down Hailey tugged on his arm. He looked. “Yes?” She pouted. “I’m hungry.” Wash frowned. “Oh. I guess it is a little late. I’ll get something together.” She gave a little nod before going to the living room.

Wash stared getting food out but still hasn’t completely remembered the layout of the house. He sighed, not feeling like opening every cupboard and his injuries preventing him.

He took a chance and walked down the hall with the help of his cane, knocking on Makenzies door. “Makenzie? Can you help me real quick?” She opened the door, sighing. “Yeah?” He smiled. “Can you show me were the cooking pans are at? I can’t reach up properly with my injuries and I don’t know where they are.”

Makenzie gave a nod, ignoring the constant ache at seeing her father but knowing it’s not really him. She walked down the hall and he followed.

She bent down to a low cupboard and started getting different pans out. Wash smiled, taking the ones he needed and pacing them on the stove. “Thanks.” She started to leave without saying anything when he spoke. “Why don’t you stay? I’ve barely gotten to talk to you since I’ve been here.”

Makenzie turned, stiffly. “What’s there to know?” She said. He smiled, getting vegetables out. “Well how’s school? What grade are you in?” She sighed, hating talking like her father is a total stranger. “It’s fine. I’m in 8th grade.” “Starting high school next year then?”

She gave a nod. “Yeah.” Wash smiled as he started chopping up asparagus. “I was terrified my freshman year. Things at home didn’t help. I think freshman year was the year my cat Loki died but I did have a few good friends that helped. I didn’t come out of the closet until starting junior year.”

Makenzie felt her eyes water. “Just stop talking.” Wash looked over at her. “Is something wrong?” Makenzie glared at him. “Yeah, you can remember your freshmen year of high school but you can’t remember your own daughter? You can’t remember what grade I am? What my friends names are? How is this even fucking possible?”

Wash glared at her, hearing that language from her sparked something in his mind. “What have I told you about your language? I swear to god you’re as bad as your father!” Makenzies lip trembled, wiping tears away. “You remember that? Did you remember me?”

Wash felt his hands shaking, swallowing. “Almost. I’m sorry.” How can he remember yelling at her numerous times but he can’t remember her? As a person? As his daughter?

She walked off to her room, slamming the door. Hailey frowned, walking up to her dad, Freckles following Makenzie. “Daddy? Are you ok? Are you scared again?”

Wash took a few deep breaths, looking down at her, feeling the memory of her so close to the surface; so frustratingly close. “I’m ok. Want to help cook dinner with me?” She smiled, nodding her head Yes while Wash wondered if he should stay here at all? Maybe it’s better if he left, at least until he remembers. He hates the trouble he’s brought to his family.

Wash couldn’t sleep, his headache didn’t help but he’s grown used to the constant migraine. Tucker walked into the house, seeing Wash wide awake with a mug of tea on the couch.

He frowned. “You ok? Normally you’re at least in bed by now.” Wash sighed, staring into his mug. “Can’t sleep. Too much on my mind. Why can I remember my time in high school but not our daughters? Or you?”

Tucker shrugged, taking his tie off. “Beats me. The doc says it’s normal though, that memory loss is weird like that. Is that’s what’s bothering you?” Wash sighed. “Makenzie and I had a moment. I tried to get to know her, to try to regain my memories but I turned into me remembering how I always get on her about her language. But I still can’t remember her as my daughter. I don’t think I should stay here while I’m recovering.”

Tucker tensed, sitting next to him. “Why? This is the best place for you, you have the greatest chance at regaining your memories here.” “At the expense of Makenzies mental health? You and I both know she isn’t handling this well, it’s been a few weeks and all me and her seem to do avoid each other or run to our rooms in tears. I can’t stand it.”

Tucker held Washs arms gently. “Please, just give it some more time. Let me talk to her but leaving is the worst idea. You may never regain your memories if you leave.” Wash looked away. “I can’t take this guilt every time I see one of you. Makenzie May be the worst of this but Hailey sometimes forgets that I don’t remember her and she just looks so disappointed and don’t think I haven’t noticed how depressed you are.” Tucker glared softly. “And you think leaving would help that?”

Wash felt his own eyes water, a sharp pain going up the side of his temple. “I don’t know. I just hate what I’ve done to my family that I can’t even remember.” Tucker forced his head to look at him. “None is this is your fault. Understand? It was that druggie and his friends. They did this. And I promise I will get you and Carolina justice but none of this was your fault. Done ever blame yourself.” Wash felt his lip trembled as he leaned into Tucker’s shoulder.  
“Fuck, I hate this.” Tucker wrapped his arms around him, kissing his head. “I do do too.”

After Wash headed for bed, Tucker went down the hall to Makenzies room, knocking on her door. “Kenzie? You awake?” She opened the door, giving him a blank look. “I am now.” Tucker gave her a serious look. “We need to talk.” She let him in, he closed the door.

He crossed his arms. “So what did I say about treating your father with respect? Just because he doesn’t remember you doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole.” Makenzie glared. “Well I can’t just act like this is all fuck-freaking normal. It’s not. I just miss my dad, not who he is now.” Tucker shrugged. “So? You should be helping him. Because the more you talk and interact with him, the more chance he has of gaining his memories back.”

It was quiet between them when Tucker spoke. “He might leave us”. Makenzies eyes got wide. “What?” “You heard me. He might leave us. He feels so guilty for the hurt he’s causing us he wants to leave but I’ve talked him out of it, for now. So for the love of god, shape up and start properly helping him or he just may leave.”

Makenzie felt her eyes water. “I don’t want him to leave, I…I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Tucker came closer, wrapping her close. “It’s ok. Why don’t you talk with him when Hailey does? That way you’re not completely alone. Or when I’m there. If you need help it’s ok, but disrespecting him is not ok.” She nodded, wiping her eyes. “I guess I should apologize.”

He gave a nod, going to open the door, before pointing a finger at her. “And stop that swearing, we don’t swear in this mother fucking house.” He said playfully. She laughed, making him feel a lot better about this. He led her to their room.

He knocked on the door, seeing Wash on his cot, sitting up with his phone. “Hey, someone wants to talk to you.” Wash looked as Makenzie walked in.

He stood up, going to her. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” She frowned. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry, I’ve been a huge jerk. I just miss you and I don’t know how to act around you since you don’t remember me. But I don’t want you to leave. I’m gonna try harder to help around here.”

He smiled. “That sounds nice. Is it ok if I hug you?” She smiled weakly, hugging him first, his arms came around her, holding her close, feeling the action was as familiar as breathing. He pulled away. “Ok now off to bed, you have school in the morning.” She smiled, nodding before hugging Tucker. “Night dad.” Tucker hugged her back. “Night.”

Once she was out the door he walked over to wash. “So? Think you’ll stay?” Wash smiled. “Yeah. I hope her good attitude stays.” Wash was about to go to his cot when Tucker cleared his throat, going to the bed, wash looked over. “So uhh…you can say no but would…would you want to sleep in the same bed as me? I mean it would probably be more comfortable-“ “Yes. I’d love to”. Wash said with a smile.

Tucker’s heart jumped as he smiled. “Cool. Cool.” They both brushed their teeth and got into the bed, the action bringing more memories teasingly close to the surface. They got in bed and wash was the nervous one this time. “Uh would it be ok if…well if you held me? It was really nice.” Tucker smiled, wrapping him up close. “Yeah. Sleep well, ok?” Wash just nodded, hoping this will bring memories back.


	10. Chapter 10

  
Wash woke first, head curled into Tucker’s chest, arms embracing him. His head hurt but he’s grown used to it, no amount of sleep or water will help them.

He could feel memories on the tip of his mind, waking up with the dark skinned man he calls his husband. He got a whiff of scent from him, moving closer to properly smell it.

A memory came right to his mind, of Tucker wearing that cologne Wash never liked but yet had grown to love it. The smell of musk and clean linen accompanying it. He brought a hand to Tucker’s sleeping face, feeling the soft skin and five’o clock shadow.

How many times had they woken early just too fuck? Easily and full of love and morning sleepiness. Wash isn’t sure if he’s regaining his memories or not but he’s knows they’re damn close.

Tucker blinked awake. “Mmhmmm..” Wash smiled. “Morning, did I wake you?” Tucker shook his head, holding Washs hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. “Yeah but it’s a damn fine way to wake up.” Tucker blinked fully awake, taking his hand away. “Sorry, that must have been weird for you.” Wash smiled. “I actually really liked it. I got a memory back.”

Tucker smiled, trying not to get his hopes up. “Yeah?” “Your cologne. I hate it.” Tucker laughed. “Is this a memory or an insult?” Wash chuckled. “I’ve always hated it but you never cared. You’d wear it anyway, to the point I’ve given up and learned to love it because you love it. I remember us waking up and fucking early in the morning, before getting the girls up, on a weekend.” Tucker smiled softly. “Anything else?”

Wash looked away. “No. But that’s something right?” “Yeah. Definitely. Well time to get up, I can get the girls ready for school.” “I can put together some breakfast.” Wash said as he sat up.

Tucker got out of bed, giving him a look. “You up for that?” Wash nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t lost my cooking skills.” Tucker chuckled, starting to dress for work. “Thank god, we’d be living off microwave meals if that were the case.”

Wash smiled. “I remember when you made spaghetti, and didn’t burn it.” Tucker smiled softly. “Really are getting memories back.” Wash nodded. “Yeah.” “I have an idea.” Wash looked at him. “Yeah?”

Tucker had his tie loose around his shoulder. “Feel free to say no, I know you don’t remember our relationship but seems that we do little things like cuddle or something and they come back. Maybe we could go on a date?” Wash smiled, blushing. “I’d love to.”

Tucker smiled, feeling like a kid in school with the butterflies in his stomach. “Great! I’ll…I’ll get something together, get Simmons and Grif to watch the kids.” Wash smiled. “It sounds great. I’ll go start breakfast.” Tucker nodded, following out the door and down the hall to the girls rooms.

Hailey was out, grumbling and pouting as she sat, still in her pajamas, not wanting to change. Tucker coming out with clothing in hand. “Hailey Grace, you will get dressed now or I will dress you.” Ticker said sternly.

Wash felt he had a flashback more than a memory, hearing and seeing it clear as day. Himself getting Hailey ready, being stubborn and hating mornings while Tucker waited for the coffee maker, tie not tied and a banter about how wash taught him to tie a tie before going to work, having a gun pointed at him and crashing.

He gripped the counter, feeling his anxiety getting the better of him, taking in deep breaths. Tucker came around quickly, rubbing his back. “You ok?” Wash was controlling his breathing. “I will be. I saw it. I saw that day.” “What do you mean?” “I mean I remember everything from that day. From you not knowing how to tie a tie even though I’ve taught you, to the crash.” Tucker swallowed, this was pretty big. “Would you want to give a report about that day? We could use any information we can get.”

Wash turned around, seeing Makenzie looking worried as she was already sitting at the table. “Maybe. I’m still not confident that that memory is 100% accurate.” Tucker gave a nod. “Alright.” He saw Hailey still hadn’t moved and was trying to sleep with her head on the table. He sighed, going to her as Wash continued to make breakfast.

He looked at Makenzie, feeling a memory starting. “You like over easy eggs right? No scrambled?” She smiled weakly. “Yeah. You remember that?” “A lot of things are coming back today.”

Tucker got to work, going to his computer to sign in when Grif came over. Tucker looked at him a little worried. It’s been weeks since he saw Wash, he knew they were close. “Yeah?” Grif sat down in the chair next to his desk. “How’s wash?” “He’s doing a lot better. Memories are starting to come back. You should stop over, it would help a lot if he saw you. You and the whole family.”

Grif smiled weakly. “Maybe. I’ve been too damn afraid of seeing him but a party would be a good idea.” Tucker smiled. “I can start putting something together.”

Suddenly the booming voice of their Captain came through form his office. “Detective Tucker, in my office, we might have a possible lead. Grif, call your husband down and for the love of god, do not do any pranks.” Grif gave a nod to him. “Yes sir!” But Grif had his fingers crossed behind his back, Tucker seeing them, nearly laughing.

Tucker walked into the office, sitting down and waiting. It wasn’t too long when Simmons came down, Ortez seeing him through the Window, bickering with Grif as Grif laughed, Simmons coming in the door. “Sorry I’m late sir, had a phone problem.”

The Captain just looked at him blankly; what was he going to do with this squad? “What did he do this time?” Simmons blushed. “Uh nothing.” “Detective, what did he do?” “He pretended to have an Indian accent and talked dirty on the phone before calling me down here.” Tucker laughed. “Holy shit, are you serious?”

The Captain heaved a sigh. “Moving on. We have a possible lead on Mason Green, the one who started this whole mess. We got a tip he’s staying at the Motel 5 on Barber Street. I want you two to go in but take one of the under cover cars, if he sees police he’s gonna run.”

Tucker nodded. “Understood.” Simmons looked at him. “Uh what do I do? I’ve never been the greatest fighter.” “And I believe you underestimate yourself. Don’t worry, you’ll have other officers backing you up along with Detective Tucker. Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll assemble back up.” Tucker gave a nod. “Yes sir.”

  
Tucker felt adrenaline starting to run through him. They were gonna catch the son of a bitch and his partners in crime and make them pay for nearly killing wash and Carolina.


	11. Chapter 11

  
Wash frowned as he chopped up vegetables for dinner, Tucker home at a normal time for once in the last few weeks thanks to the lead in the case. “This sounds dangerous.” Tucker smirked as he leaned against the counter. “Worried about me?”

Wash gave a weak smile. “I’m always worried about you.” Tucker smiled. “That almost sounded like a memory.” Wash smiled, blushing, putting the vegetables into the pasta sauce. “Not quite. I remember the feeling, not the memories, if that makes sense. Are we still going out tomorrow night after your done with work?”

Tucker nodded. “As long as I’m still breathing.” Wash gave him a look. “Don’t joke like that.” Tucker gave him a soft look. “Hey, nothing is going to keep me from you.” Wash smiled, still blushing. “No wonder I fell in love with you; wish I could remember that day.”

It was Tucker’s turn to blush, smiling sheepishly, feeling like a kid in school any time he’s around wash. Their familiar marriage and life turned upside down for feeling like they have a school yard crush on each other.

There was a knock on the door. Tucker got up from the counter. “Must be Grif and Simmons.” Tucker opened the door, Simmons giving a wave and smile. “Hey.” Grif was holding baby Noah but looking quiet as Gavin nearly ran inside, pushing past his parents and Tucker.

Simmons huffed as he walked inside. “Gavin! Hey! You don’t push past people! Get back here!” Gavin came back. Makenzie behind him giggling. Simmons gave him a stern look. “Apologize to Tucker. And your father who, by the way, is holding your baby brother.” Gavin sighed, fixing his glasses. “Sorry.” He mumbled. Simmons sighed. “Ok, go play.”

Gavin ran off with Makenzie as Tucker chuckled as he looked over at Grif with the two year old. “Hey little guy.” Grif smiled as Noah smiled, holding his little hands out toward Tucker. Grif chuckled. “Guess he wants you.” Tucker took the baby happily. “Dude, no problem. It’s been so long since my girls were this little.” He held Noah close, tickling him.

Wash came over with a polite smile. “Hello.” Tucker turned to him. “Do you remember any of them?” Wash shook his head. “No. I’m sorry.” Tucker gave a shrug, bobbing Noah in his arms. “It’s alright, you haven’t really seen them since the accident. This is Grif, the dark haired one and Simmons who Grif won’t stop pranking at work.” Simmons blushed and Grif chuckled weakly.

Wash smiled. “It’s nice to meet you both.” Grif ignored the pang of hurt but Simmons smiled politely back. Simmons let out a breath, not sure how to handle Grif, knowing this isn’t   
easy for him. “So Wash, what are you cooking?”

“A vegetable spaghetti. I wanted the girls to eat healthier and they seem to eat healthy when it’s covered in tomato sauce.” Simmons gave a nod. “Same with Grif and Gavin. Thankfully though Grif has learned to eat healthier and has been on a steady workout.”

Grif gave a snort. “Well I don’t feel like dying again. I’ll suffer the vegetables.” Wash looked worried. “Dying again?” It went quiet before Tucker broke it. “A year or so ago Grif has a major heart attack. The doctor told him he has to change his eating and health habits if he wants to live past 50 or another heart attack might be his last.”

Grif spoke up this time, looking at wash, praying it brings a memory back. “You helped. A lot actually, lord knows I’d have died if Carolina helped me. You got me eating better and got me to do workouts I don’t mind doing. I’m not gonna take down Carolina but I will live to see my kids graduate high school. That’s all I really care about.”

Wash smiled softly. “I think I remember some of that.” He looked away, frowning. “You collapsed at work, right?” Grif nodded. “Yeah but you got me an aspirin which probably saved my life.” Wash gave a nod. “Some stuff is starting to come back, in bits and pieces but it’s coming back. Just have to put the pieces together. I guess we were really close.”

Simmons huffed. “More like best friends which is hilarious; when you two first met you couldn’t stand each other but that was a long time ago.” Tucker gave a chuckle. “Hey, I couldn’t stand the guy either and see where I ended up?”

Grif rolled his eyes. “That’s because you had a major fucking crush on him. Your fighting was like the bratty kid in school that pulls the girls pig tails for her attention. I almost started taking bets on how soon you two would fuck.”

Wash gave a glare. “Grif, there are children here.” Grif sighed but gave a weak smile. “Well at least he hasn’t changed that much.” Wash gave an eye roll but smiled, going back to the sauce before it burned. “Grif, can you tell me more stories of us while I stir the spaghetti sauce?” Grif shrugged. “Sure.” He walked over with Wash, starting with how Wash helped bring him out of his depression and helped each other.

Later that night once the girls were in bed and Wash was brushing his teeth, he spoke to Tucker who had his toothbrush still in his mouth. “Will you make sure to be careful tomorrow?” Tucker spat into the sink, mouth slightly foamy. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He started to rinse with water when wash sighed. “I guess I’m just worried. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

Tucker smiled fondly. “You always worry and we’re always fine. I promise I’ll have this guy in cuffs and arrested and make it to our date.” Wash smiled. “That’s pretty confident talk.” Tucker smiled, wanting to kiss Wash so badly, wanting to show him just how confident he is but with his disconnect of memory and relationship it’s still too early, even if they are technically starting over.   
So he settled with a smirk as he wakes to bed, feeling satisfied when he saw Wash blush.


	12. Chapter 12

  
Wash was a worried wreck most of the morning. They woke up and Wash just didn’t want them getting out of bed. Tucker went to get up and Wash held his shirt. “No. Can we stay here a little longer?” Tucker frowned. “You ok?” Wash looked away. “I’m worried about today. This guy you’re going after is a drug dealer and didn’t hesitate to kill his girlfriend. He won’t hesitate to try to kill you.”

Tucker came back down, holding wash close. “I promise, nothing is going to keep me from you.” He leaned down, Washs memories be damned, and kissed him, softly. Wash tensed at first but melted into it, feeling the familiar action bring memories bubbling up but not bursting into consciousness.

Tucker smiled softly, kissing his head. “Com’on, lets get the girls ready.” Wash gave a nod and got up, following and ignoring the worry in his mind. They made breakfast (wash made breakfast, Tucker made coffee and got the girls ready) and soon Tucker was leaving with the girls, kissing wash goodbye. Wash frowned, his gut coiling tightly. “You come back to me, ok?”

Makenzie noticed this. “Is everything ok? Dad?” Tucker sighed, turning to his daughters. “Everything is Fine, you know how your father worries.” Washs eyes got big. “You didn’t even tell them?” Hailey looked up. “Tell us what?”

Tucker gave a soft glare but hated how much he was enjoying this; felt like old times before Washs accident that took his memories. “I didn’t think it was important for them to know.” Wash crossed his arms. “Well tell them. Now. Or I will. This is a big deal.”

Makenzie looked worried. “What is going on?” Tucker sighed, turning to her dad. “Today me and other officers are readying to arrest the man who crashed into your fathers police car that caused his memory problems. He’s very dangerous but I’m not the only one going in. Uncle Simmons will be there along with backup if anything goes wrong. I’ll be wearing a bulletproof vest and helmet, I am doing everything to come home in one piece.” Tucker turned to wash. “There. Better?”

Wash sighed. “Yes but I still feel like something bad is going to happen.” “You also have anxiety issues. I’ll be fine, I’ll call you when I’m done.” Wash gave a shaky nod, feeling an “I love you” on the tip of his tongue. Does that mean his memories and connections to relationships is finally healed?

Soon he was left alone in the quiet and felt panic bubble over as he sat down heavily on the couch, Freckles coming over quickly as he started hyperventilating, eyes watering and a lump forming in his throat. Freckles whined gently, nudging his snout into his owners hands.

Wash gave a weak, shaky smile, petting the dog with both hands. “You’re such a good boy. How could I have been so pissed at Tucker for bringing you home?” It took him a moment but then he quickly realized that was a memory. And a connection.

He looked at his wedding ring, spinning it on his finger with a shaking hand. Their wedding day coming to mind, Simmons making an objection to marry Grif along side then. Getting drunk off his ass and barely remembering the reception. But he remembered the hangover. He sucked in a shaking breath, smiling at freckles as tears fell down his face. “I remember freckles. I remember you.”

He decided to test it once he got up, calming down and finding pictures, finding one of when they brought Hailey home. He smiled softly at it, remembering how Tucker couldn’t stop smiling that day.

And another when Makenzie was a few months old, had fallen asleep on Tucker’s chest. He remembered that. He remembered all of it. He’s also remembers why he’s having a panic over Tucker going on this dangerous police raid; he’s been shot before. He was a hostage in the base, shot in his chest, almost died then and there. The therapy to get his breathing back to normal, the scar tissue that sometimes still effects his breathing to this day. Another panic attack was starting and Freckles never left his side.

Simmons was a nervous wreck. And Grifs worrying did nothing to ease it. He knows he’s never been the best fighter and to go into a police raid seems like a bad idea for him but the Captain somehow has faith in him he can do this. Tucker looked over at him, both of them wearing body armor underneath their shirts and a bulletproof helmet. “Gonna be alright?”

Simmons huffed. “Yeah. Just great. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m in cyber crime, not SWAT.” “Well we have SWAT backing us up, it’ll be fine, you can even stay in the back.”

One of the SWAT talked into Tucker and Simmons earpieces. “Ready?” Tucker spoke, pressing it. “Not yet.” “Rodger.” Tucker looked at Simmons. “Here, why don’t you stay out here, that way you can be extra back up if he ends up out here, you got it.” Simmons nodded, they were going to need back up outside anyway. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Tucker presses his earpiece. “We’re ready. Simmons is staying with some of your guys out here. I’m going into the office now.” “Rodger, right behind you.”

Tucker and Simmons got out, Simmons going with the SWAT staying outside. Tucker went to the front office of the motel, quickly showing his badge and picture of who they’re looking for. The man telling him why room. “He’s room twelve. Second floor.” Tucker nodded, walking out and pressing his earpiece. “Room twelve, second floor.” “Rodger that. Moving into position now.”

  
They moved silently, going long ways around to make sure they’re not spotted, making sure all back exits are covered when they got to the door, flanking it.

Tucker had his gun in his hands, feeling adrenaline pumping as he stood in front of the door and kicked it open.

And Tucker was so happy. Here was the perp from the body cam footage doing several lines of coke. Within seconds Tucker had his gun aimed on him, moving inside, SWAT moving around him. “Stay where you are! Put your hands up!” The man jumped, starting to run, Tucker following. No way as this fucker getting away.

The man got to the small bathroom, wanting to escape out the window when Tucker grabbed him, throwing him to the ground and wrestling with him to get his hands cuffed.

He could hear the SWAT behind him, ready and willing to help. Tucker thought he had him, getting his cuffs when the man struggled, getting shank he must have made, hidden away in his pocket and stabbed Tucker in his side.

Tucker cried out in pain, the SWAT moving in, taking him away and overpowering the perp as he held his bleeding side, feeling like he would pass out from the pain. Feeling blood seep through his fingers.

“We need medial, we have a stab wound.” Tucker was forced to lay down once outside, a SWAT member starting first aid. He saw out of the corner of his eye the perp being arrested and thrown into their van. He let himself pass out then.


	13. Chapter 13

  
Wash had fallen asleep once freckles got him calm. Whenever had had a severe anxiety episode it always took a lot out of him. Freckles was snuggled into his back when his phone started ringing on the nightstand next to the bed.

He woke, nearly startled, freckles whining at the movement as he reached for his phone, not checking the caller ID. “Hello?”   
“Wash you need to get to the hospital.” It was Simmons and he sounded panicked. Wash frowned, sitting up. “What’s going on?” “Tucker got hurt really bad. The guy pulled a shank on him, he lost a lot of blood. I don’t know much more but you have to come down here.”

Wash felt anxiety pumping through him again. He was hoping to surprise Tucker with his regained memories at their dinner date. “I’ll be right down.” He hung up, looking at Freckles. “Tucker’s hurt. I have to leave boy, ok? You stay here, watch the house.” He said as he kissed freckles head and got ready to leave, calling Carolina.

“Yeah?” Wash spoke fast, feeling restless. “Tucker’s been hurt, can you meet me at the hospital?” “Yeah. Of course, what happened?” “I don’t know. I just know he’s been hurt and he’s at the hospital.” “Alright, I’ll talk to Emily and we’ll meet you. Did you call the school to talk to the girls?”

“No. I want to wait until I have a real answer before talking to them. I’ll see you there.” He hung up, grabbing his keys and rushing out the door.

He nearly ran into the hospital, going to the front desk. “Excuse me, I’m here to see Detective Tucker. He’s my husband.” The nurse typed in the information and gave a nod, coming around to him. “I’m Rose, I am the head RN. We have a Lavernius Tucker, is that him?” “Yes! Is he ok?”” Wash felt his eyes water.

She gave a nod. “He’s still in surgery if you want to have a seat, I’ll come get you when he’s out. Right now I don’t know anything but I will find you as soon as he’s out.” Wash gave a nod, walking over and sitting in the stiff hospital chair with shaking hands, wishing he had the forethought to bring freckles, forgetting often he is a certified service dog and is allowed in hospitals.

It was twenty minutes later he heard Dr. Greys high voice as she wheeled Carolina over. “Wash! We’re here!” He stood, going over as Carolina frowned. “Is …is he…” she sighed in annoyance. “It been nearly two months and I still can’t think of names.” Dr. Grey smiled. “I told you you can’t be too hard on yourself.”

Wash almost smiled, the two were cute together. Dr. Grey looked at wash. “But yeah, is he ok?” Wash felt his lip trembling, feeling like a child. “I don’t know. He’s in surgery. “

Suddenly someone touched his shoulder, he turned, hoping for a doctor with information but it was Simmons with two cups of tea. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I was getting you some tea, figured you’d need it.”

Wash took the cup gratefully. “Thanks Simmons. I’m glad you called.” Simmons gave a sad smile. “I know you’d do the same if Grif was in the same situation. Also did you remember me?” Simmons asked in slight shock.

Wash looked away, wiping tears from his face. “Yeah. I got my memory back, I was gonna surprise Tucker. We had a date tonight.” Carolina smiled. “But you remember us?” Wash looked over at her, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

Dr. Grey grinned in a little sing-song voice. “Told you so.” Wash gave a little smile to them, wiping his face. “I guess now we just wait.”

Simmons placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not waiting alone.” Wash smiled weakly. “Thanks.”

It was nearly two hours before a doctor came out. “Tucker?” Wash perked his head up, Simmons nearly half asleep but his sudden movement waking him. “Is he ok?”   
The doctor just gave him a nice look. “Let’s talk somewhere private.”

He lead wash down the hall as the others waited. They got to a little cubby, made for little meetings about a family members health. The doctor sighed when he sat down. “When he got here he wasn’t in great shape. He lost quite a bit of blood. The man he was arresting stabbed him with a homemade shank. But thankfully he was stabbed in his side of the waist, the right side. If it were a gut wound I can’t say he’d have made it. Most of the damage was to the muscle and the kidney. We managed to patch up both and he’s recovering right now and by the end of the week he should be able to go home. If not earlier.”

Wash almost smiled. “So he’s gonna be ok?” The doctor smiled. “He’s gonna be ok. I’ll show you to his room, did you want to inform your friends before I take you there?” “Yes. Thank you so much.”

Wash walked out to the group. All looking worried. He smiled, relived tears in his eyes. “He’s gonna be alright.” They all cheered a little. Simmons smiled. “That’s great!” Carolina was next. “Thank god.” Wash swallowed down his tears, happy ones now. “The doctor said he could be out of here within a week. Maybe when he’s woken up you guys could see him.” Simmons gave a nod. “I can pick up the girls from school and watch them if you want.”

Wash wanted to hug Simmons, he’s been such a big help with both he and Tucker. “Thank you so much, try not to tell them anything, I want to talk to them.” Simmons gave a nod. Wash walked further in to them and hugged Simmons first, surprising him. “Thank you so much for all your help. Without you and Grif I’d be totally lost.” Simmons smiled, hugging back. “It’s no problem wash. Anytime.”

He turned to Carolina and gave her a gentle hug, being mindful of her back injuries. “Thank you for being here. You too Emily. You guys are family to me.” Carolina smiled. “The little brother I never wanted.” Wash chuckled, going around and hugging Emily. “Without you me and Tucker would have been dead a lot time ago.” She smiled, hugging back. “Just doing my job sweetie. Now go give that hubby of yours a big kiss!” He smiled as he pulled away, going down the hall to find the doctor.

When they got to the room Wash felt more than prepared. Fucking used to this is more like it. How many times have he and Tucker ended up in the hospital? Tucker had a few IVs and no breathing tubes. All those were good signs but the dark skinned man was still asleep. Wash smiled sadly as he sat next to the bed and held his hand. “You take the time you need, I’ll be here.”


	14. Chapter 14

  
Tucker woke to pain but also to a soft hand on his face, caressing his cheek. “Hmmm?” “It’s ok, I’m here. You’re safe.” He heard Wash say softly. He opened his eyes, blinking away the bright lights as he saw Wash above him with a soft smile and love in his eyes as he held his face.

Tucker reached up, careful of the wires in his hand and held husbands hand to his face. “Mm this is a nice way to wake up. You don’t have to do this.” “Do what?” Tucker looked at him, trying not to look as sad as he felt. “Being romantic and sweet. If you don’t remember our relationship I’m not going to force you to do anything.”

Wash smiled, eyes watering. “Tucker… I remember.” Tucker blinked. “What?” Wash wiped his tears away. “I remember you. I remember you getting me completely drunk at our wedding. I remember adopting Makenzie, how it took forever and day to find a name for her. I remember you accidentally teaching her a few bad words too. I remember it all.”

Tucker smiled, feeling his own eyes water. “Goddamn.” He looked away, feeling like he may break down, before trying to play it off. “If I knew all it took to get your memory back was to get stabbed, I’d have done it weeks ago.” Wash laughed, watery as he leaned down, kissing Tucker softly. Tucker brought his arms around him best he could.

Wash pulled away, pressing the call nurse button. Tucker pretending to be disappointed. “But we were just getting to the good part.” Wash gave him a look. “Well the doctor needs to make sure you’re ok. You lost a lot of blood.” Tucker huffed. “I’m fine. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal; that’s where the blood supposed to be.”

Wash just looked at him. Not sure if he wants to kiss him because Tucker is alive and cracking jokes or slap him for the comment. He just blinked at him. “Oh my god. I know you’re not that stupid.”

Tucker laughed but winced. Wash sighed, coming closer. “See? Save the jokes for after you’re recovered.” The door opened and the head nurse wash talked to, Rose walked in. “Ah. Someone is finally awake. Let me check your vitals and I will get the doctor for you.”

She changed his bandages, giving Wash a good look at the stitched up side of his waist, of course, not as bad as he made it in it his head. The wound was barely three inches but it must have been deep. She checked his heart and breathing and temp before smiling. “Alright, seems everything is on the up and up. I’ll go get his doctor and he may even be able to be discharged. Thankfully the wound itself is easy to treat at home with just clean gauze and cream.”

Wash smiled but winced, feeling the side of his head. “Thank you, that’s wonderful.” The nurse waked out and Tucker frowned, reaching out to him. “Hey, you ok?” Wash nodded, wanting to keep his eyes closed from the bright lights of the hospital. “Yeah. Just another headache.” “Should we talk to your doctor about them?”

Wash shook his head, regretting the action. “No. He said I’d probably be having headaches and migraines for a while even after my memory and brain have healed.” Tucker sighed. “Still. They could prescribe you something. It could help.”

Wash almost glared at him. “I do not want to be on another medication. I’m already on four.” Tucker reaches out, holding his husbands hand. “I know but if it means you’ll be in less pain-“

Suddenly the door opened and a young women walked in, scrubs on and a white coat with blonde hair in a messy bun. Wash felt a pang of jealousy and surprise. “You’re his doctor?”

She smiled, holding a file. “Yes.” She looked concerned. “Is this a problem?” Wash shook his head, feeling like an asshole. He can’t let his insecurities get in the way of Tucker getting better. “No. It’s fine, just not what I was expecting.”

Tucker gave him a look. “What were you expecting? Doctor House?” Wash rolled his eyes and she chuckled. “It’s quite alright. I’m Dr. Allouette Boish. I know I’m young and not some old male doctor, a lot of patients are taken aback. Now Rose tells me you are in tip top shape Lavernius.” She said as she walked over, starting to move the blanket. Wash tried not to feel jealous that she was using his first name.

Tucker grinned to her. “If you wanted to see me without my pants all you had to do was ask.” Wash wasn’t sure if he wanted to smack him or hide and let his insecurities take over.

She chuckled, blushing. “You’re not the first to try to woo me.” She was looking critically at the wound and Tucker couldn’t help himself. “So your name, French I assume?” “Yes.” “pari que vous savez embrasser français hein?” She laughed and Wash crossed his arms, knowing exactly what Tucker said.

One of the things he was good at in freelancer was learning languages and French was one of the ones he’s learned.

She laughed, lowering the blanket. “Just because I have a French name doesn’t mean I know how to speak it. Well, you’re alert, making jokes and flirting and your wound looks very good. I’ll go get your discharge papers together.” She walked out of the room, leaving them in the silence.

Tucker looked over at Wash and knew he fucked up. “What’d I do?” Wash sputtered. “What didn’t you do is a better question. I heard what you asked her.” “Wait, you speak French?”

Wash glared, standing, his headache five times worse now. “Yes. In project freelancer it was mandatory to know at least three languages. When we weren’t fighting we were learning.” Tucker frowned. “Oh.” Wash gaped. “Oh? That’s all you have to say? if I wasn’t in the room would you have made out with her?”

“Of course not! I’m sorry, I’m a flirt, it’s just how I am. And obviously it meant nothing to me and her.” Wash stayed quiet, feeling his eyes water. Tucker reached out, wanting to hold his hand. But Wash refused.

Tucker sighed. “Ok, soon as we’re home we’re talking.” “Does this talk have divorce papers in it?” “No, of course not but we need to talk. Me flirting with others isn’t cool but you’re insecurity in us isn’t cool either. I love you, so you trust me?” Wash felt his eyes water, it’s been an emotional roller coaster of a day. “Yeah.” “Then trust me and when we get home we’ll talk, ok?” Wash just gave a nod as the blonde doctor came back in with several papers.

When he was officially discharged Wash called Simmons and let him know they were on their way home, Tucker having been asleep most of the day and night for recovery.

Wash helped Tucker into the car before getting into the drivers seat, turning the engine on. Tucker could still sense the hurt coming from his husband and hates himself a little. Surprisingly he learned to flirt from his mom and her friends. He hated seeing them sad and knew complimenting them was the fastest way to make them smile.

But old habits die hard as Wash barely said a word to him the way home. When they parked, Wash got out, seeing Simmons and Grif with all the kids waiting outside their house.

Wash helped Tucker up, he could walk, slowly. He waved. “You miss me losers? He called out. Makenzie smiled, running over and hugging her father. He winced. “Ah! Careful! I was stabbed.” “Sorry!”

It was a nice moment and Wash didn’t want to ruin anything with the revel of his memories returning. Wash turned to Tucker. “You ok to walk on your own?” Tucker gave a nod, still hugging Makenzie and Hailey now who had run out. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” “Ok. I’m just gonna lay down.”

Wash said before walking along the path, trying his best to ignore Simmons and and Grifs expecting looks as he politely waved at them before going inside. Before he tells them he remembers he needs space to breathe.

Once hat sat on the bed, eyes watering with emotional fatigue Freckles had borfed and jumped in the bed, snuggling close to him. Wash smiled sadly, sniffling, holding him close. “Good boy Freckles.”


	15. Chapter 15

It took some time for Tucker to make it into the bedroom, talking with his girls and Grif and Simmons before finally escaping so they can talk.

He walked slowly to the bed, Wash’s back to him, Freckles snuggled close. Tucker sat on the bed. “I know you’re awake.”

Wash sat up, turning to him with red rimmed eyes. Tucker frowned. “I’m so sorry that hurt you. It was stupid of me to do that. But you know me, I’m a natural flirt, she reminded me of you.” Wash didn’t look at him, staring at the blanket. Tucker sighed. “Wash, can you at least look at me?” Wash wiped his eyes, looking at Tucker. “Better?” He asked, voice raspy.

Tucker smiled, bringing his hands to his face, holding it gently in his hands. “Much better.” He frowned. “I want you to be completely honest; do you trust me?” “Of course I-“ “do you trust me not to cheat on you? With your life is completely different than this and I need to know.”

Wash was hesitating to answer and found that no, he doesn’t trust him, not completely. “I…I…” he sputtered. He felt his heart break seeing the hurt look on Tucker’s face. Wash tried to back pedal, talking fast. “I’m sorry. Its probably all my anxiety and insecurities talking. I know it’s not you to cheat but it’s damn hard to shut up that little part of my brain that thinks you will.”

Tucker gave a nod. “I understand that. But I never would. I love you so damn much. I don’t know what I can do to prove to you, to shut your anxiety up that I’m never going to cheat. Ever. Ok?” Wash gave a nod, looking away, sniffing. “God I ruined today. My memory came back. Your injury is easily treated at home. This should have been a wonderful day and I ruined all of it.” Tucker brought his face up to look in his eyes.

“You didn’t ruin anything. It was my fault, I shouldn’t be flirting like that with others and sometimes I can’t help myself. Have I told why I am a flirt?” Wash huffed. “Here I thought it was part of your charm.” “Hilarious Washington.” Wash laughed weakly, feeling like when they both met, crash site bravo; god how young and stubborn they were.

“I’m serious. Growing up in Detroit wasn’t great. I wasn’t abused but we weren’t exactly rich. My dad left when I was five. He and mom would fight all the time and I noticed that when ever someone compliments my mom it made her happy. So I did what any good son did and started complimenting her, often, working up to testing flirty lines that were awful just to make her laugh. And that’s when I knew that’s how to get a girl..or partner. Make them feel good, or laugh. So I just kept doing that and eventually it just became so engrained in me that it was second nature.”

Wash smiled weakly. “That’s actually really sweet.” Tucker smiled. “So see? Nothing to worry about, if I flirt with someone remember it means nothing to me but to make them smile. Or you can slap me, either works fine.” Wash smiled. “I like the slapping idea.”

Tucker grinned, kissing Wash deeply. “God I missed you.” Wash smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I forgot you. I don’t know how I could do that.” Tucker smiled, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. “Still up for that date?” “But you just got out of the hospital.”

Tucker shrugged. “So?” Wash rolled his eyes. “No. We are not going out until you are healed. What if a stitch breaks?” “How about you give me a week to recover and then we do the date? Because I feel the need to show you off to the entire world.” Wash smiled. “That’s sounds like a good idea. How are the girls?”

Tucker gave a nod. “Good. Worried about you. I didn’t tell them you got your memory back, figured you’d want to do that yourself.” “Thank you. What do I even say to them?” Tucker kissed his head. “Anything. Just be honest.” Wash gave him a look. “Wow. You’re so useful.” Tucker grinned as Wash started to get up.

Wash walked out of the room and found Makenzie and Hailey watching cartoons in the living room. He could sense Tucker behind him as he walked further in. “Girls, can we talk?” He noticed the uninterested look on Makenzies face, remembering how hard it’s been in her. Hailey smiled. “Yeah daddy?”

Wash walked closer, feeing his hands shaking. “I’m so sorry. About all this. I never wanted to forget you.” Makenzie gave a nod. “I know.” Wash went to her first, sitting next to her. “No. You don’t. Makenzie, I remember. I got my memory back.” Makenzie looked skeptical and a little hurt. “Prove it.”

“I know you swear even when I tell you not to. I know your father doesn’t help by encouraging it. I know that when you were six you had nightmares about demons coming after you because you managed to sneak in a viewing of the Exercist.” Makenzie looked hopeful. “And you didn’t see that in any photo album? Dad didn’t tell you any of that?”

Wash smiled sadly. “No.” He hugged her close, kissing her curly hair. “I never wanted to forget you. I love you all so much.” Makenzies voice became thick, hugging back. “I love you too. I missed you.”

Hailey got up in the couch, hugging them, Wash opened his arms, bringing her in for a group hug. “It’s ok daddy. Everyone forgets sometimes.” Wash laughed, watery as he smiled to his youngest. “I know.” 

At the house across the street Noah was going through some teething, unable to sleep, crying in Grifs arms as he walked and rocked him. “Shh I know, it hurts like a bitch.” Simmons came over into the baby’s room, handing Noah a frozen teething toy. “Hopefully this helps.”

Grif took it, gently making sure Noah got it in his mouth. “If it doesn’t we’re getting the whiskey.” Simmons glared at him. “No drop of whisky is touching his mouth.” “Relax, we don’t even have alcohol in the house.”

Gavin was suddenly in front of the entrance of his baby brothers room. “Wash is here,said he wants to see dad.” Grif gently handed Noah over to Simmons. “I’m up, make sure not to make him cry more.” Simmons rolled his eyes, starting to rock the baby.

Grif found Wash standing in the living room. “Uh hey.” Wash smiled. “Hey.” Grif gave a shrug . “Need anything?” “I don’t know how to say this. My memory is back. I’m so sorry, about forgetting you.”

Grif felt a little shocked. This was not what he was expecting. “It’s back? Like back back?” “As far as I know.” Grif looked away. “Huh.” He said, having no idea how to process this. Luckily he didn’t have to think long before Wash came over, hugging him close. “You’re my best friend, I never wanted to forget you.”

Grif softened, feeling his eyes water as he hugged back. “God I missed you. Have you heard how I’ve been pranking Simmons at work?” Wash smiled. “No.” “Let’s go to the kitchen, you have to hear this and shame on Tucker for not regaling these amazing stories.”


	16. Chapter 16

Wash wasn’t sure why he felt nervous. He was just going on a date with his husband. 

Maybe it was the fact that Tucker almost died… again. And he almost died…again. It gave everything a new perspective, even if he never lost that. He knew he was too lucky to have the family and life he has. He always worries something is going to snatch it away one day.

He jumped as there was a knock on the bathroom door. “Babe, you ok in there? You’ve been in there for a half hour.” Wash let out a sigh, feeling anxiety starting to vibrate through him. “I’m fine. I’ll be right out.” He washed his face with cold water quickly, looking himself in the mirror.

He almost hates how young he looks. It’s a bit of curse to have a baby face. He knows because of it no one took him seriously in Project freelancer, even with the helmet and armor.

Nearing 43 and there’s no gray hair in sight, his freckles are exactly the same and blue eyes and fair skin make him look like a child, still. 

“Ok, I’m coming in. I’m officially worried.” Wash rolled his eyes as Tucker walked in, looking nice in a blazer and jeans, going well with his personality. Tucker frowned. “What’s wrong? You’ve been in the bathroom since the girls went over Grif and Simmons house.”

Wash sighed. “I just..I feel nervous and I don’t know why. I mean, it’s just a date, with you. I’ve known you forever and I feel like a teenager on their first date.” “Well we never really went on dates. This is probably a first official date and not some movie in a bunk.”

Wash smiled fondly. “I think those are my favorite dates.” Tucker came closer, holding his hands. “Point is, I’m going to be showing you off and you’re probably scared of that.” Wash looked at him but hated he’s probably right. “Why would I be scared if that? We’ve been married for nearly fifteen years.”

“Yeah but we’ve never been romantic in public. The only ones we’ve been like that around is our friends.”

Wash looked away. “Maybe you’re right.” Tucker smirked. “Ooh, I’m right? Please say it again, and record it.” Wash gave him a look. “Oh look at that, our session is over, let’s get going.” Tucker laughed as they walked out and went to the car.

The restaurant Tucker found was one with a dance floor right in the middle, a DJ playing and people dancing. Wash was amazed. It was so nice but casual.

Tucker held his hand as they stood in line, he could still feel wash shaking the slightest. He looked over at him with concern. “Sure you’re ok?” Wash gave a nod. “Yeah. I’m a little nervous. As a kid I was always really shy and introverted. And you made a good point of us having never really been out in public like this. I feel like they’re all looking at me.”

Tucker smiled, kissing his head. “Because your gorgeous babe.” Wash blushed deeply, gently pushing Tucker away with a weak smile. “That doesn’t help.”

Wash was thankful the table they had was near the back and a booth, it had some bit of privacy which helped him relax a bit.

Wash was relaxed, talking and laughing with Tucker when their song came on. “Fooled around and fell in love.”

Tucker smiled softly to him. “So how bout a dance?” Wash blushed, thinking of all the people that would be looking at him. “Oh I don’t know..all those people-“ “won’t care. And if they do they’re gonna be jealous because I have the best date in the house.” Wash blushed deeper and smiled, feeling charmed. “Ok.”

Tucker stood, holding out his hand. Wash took it gently, letting him lead.

Once on the dance floor Tucker held him close, his head resting on blonde hair. Wash couldn’t help but look around, seeing very few people dancing in the dance floor; them and one other couple. He saw people taking photos of them with their phones, people talking. He felt his heart speed up and hands start to shake again.

Tucker sensed this, turning Washs face to look him in the eyes. “Hey, don’t look at them. They don’t matter.” “But they’re talking about us.” Wash said, hating how scared he felt. He felt like a scared child. Tucker kept his face on him. “Let then talk. It’s just you and me right now, ok?” Wash nodded, continuing to stare in his husbands eyes until the world around them was nothing but a pleasant blur.

Suddenly Wash saw another couple come to the dance floor; two girls, barely twenty one. Tucker smiled. “Guess we gave them the courage to come out here.” Wash smiled, suddenly feeling proud. “I guess we did.”

Once the night was over Tucker parked outside their house with a sigh. “Hate the night is over. That was amazing.” Wash smiled over, a little coy. “It doesn’t have to be over just yet.” Tucker smirked over. “What do you have in mind?” Wash took his seat belt off, taking Tucker’s off too as he managed to straddle his husbands hips, the steering wheel digging into his ass.

Tucker was hard in seconds, a breathy “oh.” Coming out in realization. Tucker held his husbands face. “You know people can see us if they look right?” “Yes.” Tucker groaned. “Oh fuck..” That was all the answer he needed as he crashed his lips to the blondes.

Over at Grif and Simmons house, Simmons thought he heard Tucker and Washs car, looking out the window. “Hey, they are home.” Grif came over, baby Noah in his arms as he suckled on a teething ring. “Yeah?”

Simmons blushed as he looked more closely, closing the blinds in haste. “Oh.” Grif grinned. “Guess their date isn’t over?” Simmons just shook his head. “Nope.”


	17. Chapter 17

Tomorrow was Washs first day back to work and Tucker and the rest of them had plans. The first step was making sure they were running late. Late enough to skip breakfast since they’ll be a party for them at work. So during the night when Wash was asleep and Tucker woke before it, he turned the alarm off.

He knew Wash was going to be completely livid at him for this but once he knows why, he also knows he’ll be completely forgiven.

Tucker always had a hard time actually getting to sleep, once he was asleep though he slept like the dead ,unlike his husband who can be a fairly light sleeper, a trait likely picked up from his abusive father and project freelancer.

But his plan was foiled a bit when at 8:45AM there was a knocking on their bedroom door and Makenzie calling for them. “Hey, guys ok? School starts in fifteen minutes.”

Wash woke suddenly, Tucker groaning. Wash looked around, seeing the clock. “Oh my god! We’re so late!” He nearly pushed Tucker out of bed as he got up. “Tucker get up. Now! We have to go!”

Tucker sighed, getting ready and opening the bedroom door to find two girls looking worried. Makenzie frowned. “Everything ok?” “Yeah. Just overslept.” “But dad never oversleeps.” Makenzie saw her father in the background, hastily getting ready for the day; not even bothering to gel his hair or tie his tie.

Wash came over to Tucker, looking frantic. “Tucker! Get ready now! We don’t have time to talk!” Makenzie gave an amused look to them as she left to wait in the living room.

Tucker closed the door and tried to calm his husband down as he started to get ready. “What’s the point in rushing? We’re already late. No point in stressing yourself sick.” Wash just glared as he nearly threw clothes at Tucker, starting to tie his own tie sloppily. “I just want to know what happened. I have four alarms set for this reason.”

Tucker just gave a shrug, putting on his tie. “I don’t know, guess it was a catastrophic failure.” Wash crossed his arms, knowing Tucker was lying. “Tucker? What did you do?” Tucker tried to play innocent, not looking his husband in the eye, looking at his tie and trying to tie it. “What? Nothing. I was sleeping.” “What did you do Lavernius?” He said and Tucker knew he was in trouble then.

He still didn’t look up but stopped fiddling with his tie. “I kinda turned off your alarms so we’d run late.” He looked up now and Wash looked about ready to punch him. “WHAT?” Wash said in that screeching way he has when he’s really upset.

Makenzie was near their bedroom door, Hailey too, listening and trying not to laugh. Hailey giggled. “Daddy’s really mad.” Makenzie chuckled. “Oh yeah. I think dads gonna be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

There was muffled yelling behind the door before it opened quickly and the two girls nearly fell. Wash sighed, already looking like he got no sleep. “Out the door. Now. Get to the car.”

Once they got the girls to school, Tucker drove (not trusting wash to not speed) which made wash even more angry but he stayed quiet, every so often throwing in a “I can’t believe you did this.”

When the parked outside the police building, Wash checked the time. “Fuck! It’s already 9:30. Oh my god, I’ve never been this late in my life.” Wash got out quickly, not even waiting for Tucker as Tucker jogged you catch up, glad he already sent a text to Donut when they got up.

They both got in the elevator, Wash pressing the button with more force than necessary before glaring at Tucker. “Why would you do this? We’re you hoping for morning sex?” “No! I-“ “I don’t even want to hear it. Always thinking with your dick instead of your brain. Goddamn it.” Tucker stayed quiet until the doors opened and he saw everyone.

There was a big banner across the ceiling saying in big letters “WELCOME BACK WASH AND CAROLINA” Everyone they worked with standing with streamers and flowers.

Wash looked taken aback as he walked further inside. “What’s all this?” Tucker grinned at him. “The reason we had to run late.” Wash looked between Tucker and the crew, seeing the sign and Carolina and Dr. Grey coming around from the back to see him. This is the first time since the accident that he has seen Carolina standing and walking and not needing an aid or bound to a wheelchair.

He felt his eyes water and Carolina came over, smiling softly as she hugged him. “Welcome back dork.” He laughed weakly, hugging her back as he wiped happy tears away.

Their captain, Sam Ortez smiled, Donut holding the champagne and wine glasses. “Here. A proper toast for this amazing occasion.” Grif smiled as he came over to Wash, hugging him. “Welcome back man, it has not been the same without you two.” Wash smiled. “I missed you guys so much.”

Everyone had a wine glass and had some poured in by Donut. Ortez leading the toast. “A toast to some of the best police officers I have ever known. To Detective Washington. And Detective Carolina. May you have good health and a good career.” Everyone gave a toast, cheering.

Donut came over to Ortez, smiling: “So think we should tell them the news?” Ortez smiled, holding Donuts hand. “One thing at a time. Carolina, I actually have a surprise for you. For your one year of desk duty.”

She rolled her eyes. “I swear if it’s a stapler..” “it’s not a stapler. It’s much better.” He fumbled one his pocket quickly and got out a CD sized disk, pressing a button on it and a hologram showing, of Church.

“Miss me sis?” Church said, not in armor but in normal fucking clothing, programmed in. Nearly everyone gasped. Carolina was struggling not to cry. “Oh my god.. I can’t believe this. I thought he wasn’t able to be moved because of some legal crap.” Ortez smiled, gently handing her the disk. “I managed to smooth things over and given your situation and reputation, they agreed and after this year we may even be able to have him transferred over to a cruiser of your choice.” She held there disk and just stared.

Tucker laughed. “Dude! You can be knight rider!” Church glared at him. “Jesus fucking Christ, I’ve been back five minutes and that’s what you come up with?” Tucker gave him a look. “What? Want me to try hugging you gain?”

“Enough!” Carolina shouted, looking at church softly. “You’re really back.” Church gave a soft look. “Yeah. Someone has to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. You are still recovering technically.” “So you’re my babysitter?” “The very best!” He said with a grin. She rolled her eyes. “Knew there had to be a catch.” Dr. Grey was next to her, being her voice of reason. “Carolina, your bones are healed but fragile. You can’t go around being risky like you’ve always been. Remember, if one of those bones in your back breaks you could be paralyzed.” Carolina sighed heavily. “I know.” “So let him help you.”

Carolina have Church a look. “Sure you’re up for it?” Church grinned, arms crossed. “Sure you won’t make my job even harder?” She gave a chuckle. “Fair point.”

Donut smiled, holding The Captains hands. “Babe! We should tell them.” Tucker smiled, overhearing them, putting his arm around Washs waist. “What is it?”

Ortez smiled at Donut, holding his hand. “We’ll both tell them.” Donut smiled, shaking his head, blonde waves bobbing. “Ok.”

They both spoke at the same time.

“We’re getting married!”

“We’re adopting a baby!”

Donut was all smiles as Ortiz stared at him in shock. “What?”

Grif laughed, talking to Simmons. “And here I thought the entertainment would be done by noon.”

Ortiz held Donuts hand, leading him to his office, closing the door and closing the blinds before glaring at him. “What did you mean by we are adopting a baby?” Donut smiled a little softer. “I mean we’re adopting a baby. I knew you’d never agree to it, so I never talked about it but I know-“ “no. You don’t know.” He felt his old personality coming out, Locus coming out as he spoke sternly to his boyfriend. “Because if you did know you’d know how woefully under qualified I am to be a parent. You know my past, you know the blood on my hands.” He said, holding his tan hands up, feeling his eyes burn with tears starting.

Donut gave him a soft look, holding his raised hands. “And that’s all in the past. That’s not you now. You’ve changed, you’re a different person and an amazing boyfriend and I know you’ll be an amazing dad and husband, you just have to put yourself out there. I love you and I believe in you. But if you truly don’t want to be a father, I can call the adoption agency and tell them we opt out.” Donut finished, looking away like a sad puppy.

Ortiz swallowed. “What if the baby riles my temper? What if I hurt them?” Donut gave a smile. “I know you won’t. You’re a good man, you just have to start believing that for yourself.” “Is it a boy or a girl?” Donut smiled softly, kissing his boyfriends hands. “A little girl. Tan and dark hair, looks like you.” “What’s her name?” “Amelia.” Ortiz smiled softer.

“Alright. We’ll try..but if I ever seem to want to hurt her, if you believe I will, leave me behind. You two are more important.” Donut smiled, wrapping his arms around him, kissing sweetly. “I love you! Oh let’s go tell them the news! Officially this time!”

They walked out, hand in hand to an expectant audience. Church spoke up, being held in Carolinas hands. “So? Guys having a baby or not?” Tucker grinned. “You’re keeping us in suspense.”

Donut gave Ortiz a smile. Ortiz’s gave a shy look. “Yes. A little girl my other half has informed me; Amelia.” Wash smiled. “Oh, congratulations. This is great news.” Tucker gave him a look, he missed when the girls were little enough to hold in his end. Wash gave him a look. “No. We have two of our own.”

Church spoke up, looking at Tucker. “That reminds me, since I haven’t been apart of this for quite some time, you have kids?” Wash smiled. “Yes. Two girls.” “I bet their little firecrackers.” Tucker chuckled. “Makenzie is just like wash. And Hailey is the youngest.” “Dude, I’ve been so out of the loop.” Carolina smiled. “I promise you’ll get meet everyone and their kids. Now we have a lot to celebrate today.”


End file.
